MINNEAPOLIS — Local good boy Valentino was disgusted and appalled last week after an afternoon at his favorite brewery was ruined, thanks to constant harassment…
MODESTO, Calif. — Local music fan Kenny Dillinger noted publicly yesterday that he is happy to listen to anything except for women and country music,…
WASHINGTON — Billion-dollar event company Ticketmaster lobbied before Congress yesterday to add a “barely noticeable” $790-million service fee to the “Save Our Stages” bill meant…
WASHINGTON — Griffin Miller, a career contrarian and lifelong advocate of The Devil, has been tapped as Communications Director for The Devil’s administration, a senior…
LINCOLN, Neb. — Researchers at The University of Nebraska-Lincoln’s Department of Psychology have found that setup phrases such as, “News Flash, Dickhead” are overwhelmingly followed…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local marketing associate and Black person Imani Phillips found yesterday that her iPhone X’s storage is almost entirely full of overly supportive…
VAN NUYS, Calif. — Celebrated actress and seemingly constant indie cinema presence Chloe Sevigny was seen yesterday hanging around the set of upcoming film “The…
LOS ANGELES — Local woman Mattie Foster, known for her drunken outbursts at shows, is now simply loud and wasted at home due to Los…
BARLOW, Ky. — Local woman Roxana Carozza is entering her 20th hour of the dreaded “Midwestern goodbye” this morning, still inside her mother-in-law’s home and…
POMONA, Calif. — Local straight edger Dave Bower drank every non-alcoholic beverage intended for use as a mixer last night during his roommate’s 21st birthday…
Many people will tell you that the US version of the Office GIFs are better than their UK predecessors. Those people are simply wrong. Maybe…
BOISE, Idaho — A pointless, rambling political rant posted to Facebook by local man Terry Boe this morning resulted in mass casualties to his friend…
LOS ANGELES — Tensions remain high in downtown Los Angeles today after the discovery that a party bike was rigged to explode the moment its…
SAN ANTONIO — A friend informed you today during a visit to your hometown that she finally listened to Breaking Benjamin, a band you suggested…
PHILADELPHIA — Local woman Juliana Azzara passed the four hours waiting for her train last night by asking a man at a nearby dive bar…