LOS ANGELES — Members of Blink-182 were hurriedly escorted off stage just as they played the final notes of their set in order to make…
BRICK TOWNSHIP, N.J. — Local punk Andy Chambers was seen shaking his head in frustration after a Costco employee marked his receipt without so much…
SLEEPY HOLLOW, N.Y. — 38-year-old Jason Andrews recently came to the conclusion that his most revered album of the year was none other than Spotify’s…
NEW BEDFORD, Mass. — 38-year-old punk Eli Collum once again hovered his phone’s camera over the old-school Equal Vision logo thinking it was a QR…
PROVIDENCE— 38-year-old punk Richard Locke is trying to improve his physical fitness by switching to a brand of cigarettes heavy enough to double as a…
LOS ANGELES — After an ambitious attempt at a simple flatground kickflip, it appears that you have absolutely broken your back, sources wincing sympathetically confirm.…
Vampire. Nosferatu. The un-dead. Legends of unholy, immortal creatures with a thirst for human blood have existed for centuries. Could such a long-enduring myth have…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — Aging punk Mack “Sulfur” Hersch recalibrated his life’s mission from disrupting the effectiveness of the federal government to terrorizing his new…
CARLSBAD, Calif. — Local woman Janice Rickards told her husband he could go ahead with his dream of building a mini ramp in their backyard…
PENFIELD, N.Y. — 46-year-old punk veteran Samuel “Murder One” Castor decided to further deck out his CPAP sleep apnea machine with the addition of another…
I never thought I would find myself in a place complaining about the “music these kids listen to,” but it seems the older I get,…
MANCHESTER, N.H. — Thirty-five-year-old punk Freddie Snyder discovered that the Devcon Duco Plastic and Model Cement he’s been huffing on and off for almost twenty…
TACOMA, Wash. — Doctors and nurses across the country were forced to set up triage stations to help treat middle-aged men with soft tissue injuries…
Do you remember that god-awful movie “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button?” It starred Brad Pitt as an old baby who lives backwards and fucks…
Remember when your parents would watch 60 Minutes? You knew it was the end of the weekend. It symbolized the death of your free time…