Texas is the proud home of failing power grids, an ever-expanding system of highways, and idiotic Republican politicians making sure every psycho with a gun…
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BOSTON — The Measure of a Man Tailor Shop was open long past their normal hours last night thanks to the iconic third-wave ska band…
So you’ve found yourself at a Desolated show, and you want to be certain that nobody other than you gets to enjoy the performance. What’s…
To the rest of the world, Crazy Town were but one of many rap-rock one-hit wonders from the early ‘00s, their’s being the salacious, Red…
SAN FRANCISCO — The creators of the once-popular website StumbleUpon announced today they are relaunching the service for the modern internet era and will allow…
HOUSTON — Veteran obstetrician Brian Lein spent upwards of 10 minutes yesterday indifferently tugging on a patient’s newborn in an attempt to untangle the rat’s…
The other day while walking through the toy section at Target, I saw a little plush toy of the iconic Super Mario. I love Mario,…
It’s that time of the day. You must distract yourself from the momentary mundaneness of a simple chore. That garbage bag filled to the brim…
FAIRHOPE, Ala. — A badly faded tattoo bearing a barbed wire design aided local investigators in identifying a recently deceased woman as “probably about 19-years-old…
WASHINGTON — Climate scientists unveiled their findings today that the Earth’s temperature is rising because some dude named Jeremy has made consecutive shots while playing…
CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Local guitarist Joel Svensson admitted yesterday that he bought the recently released JHS OrcGrinder pedal primarily based on its cool name and…
EWELL, Md. — Local wife Anna Schomaeker grew suspicious of her husband Zeke last week after discovering a second pair of Levi’s 501 jeans in…
OGDEN, Utah — Local parents Sydney and Cole Pickard were informed by a family doctor yesterday that their teenage son Evan is showing distinct, potentially…
BOSTON — General Electric introduced their “early discharge” microwave oven technology today, which is expected to improve user experience by stopping a cooking sequence one…
NEW YORK — Missing the necessary half-second window to input a button press, witnesses say local gamer Roger Dawkins completely botched a handshake with his…
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