Nowadays, it seems like everybody wants to claim they’re a ’90s kid. AS IF! We were getting sick of all these fake ’90s kids so…
I don’t like to use the word BRAVE often, but when it’s necessary, it must be said. Amongst an entire worldwide social network, hundreds of…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Darren Freed met privately with his “best friend since junior high” early this morning to ask him to delete thousands of songs…
WASHINGTON — Scientists have confirmed that the current nationwide dumpster fire is adversely affecting the national crust punk population, according to a new study conducted…
I’ve only been in the Big Apple for two weeks but I already feel like I’m living in a TV show. One specific TV show,…
CHICAGO — Local curmudgeon Benjamin Dahl reaffirmed his decades-old “punk is dead” stance shortly after procuring tickets to the It’s Not Dead Fest, according to…
CHICAGO — Rumors persist that Riot Fest still has one last high-profile reunion to announce: the NFL champion 1985 Chicago Bears, raising the expectations of…
So you think you’re a punk because you’ve read The Anarchist Cookbook? Get a grip, losers, that’s basically required reading for any respectable middle school…
CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Local grandmother Dolores McComb is offering chicken as the “cruelty-free” option for tonight’s homemade meal, according to sources dreading the dinner. McComb…
OK listen up: I’ve been going to hardcore shows since before you were in diapers. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that if…
LOS ANGELES — Local writer/director/producer/aspiring barista Judd Apatow has been turned down time and again for entry level positions at every coffee shop in town,…
Escape rooms are everywhere. And why not? They’re a fun fad that’s probably not going away anytime soon. It’s such a great time being a…
SPRINGFIELD, Ill. — Katelyn Paskin suffered a minor concussion earlier today after losing consciousness in a severe asthma attack, despite a tattoo on her wrist…
NEWPORT, Ore. — When local punk Greg Denny looks directly into the sun during today’s eclipse without the aid of solar filters, it will likely…
LOS ANGELES — The California Film Commission has legalized hunting aspiring documentary filmmakers in order to control their rapidly growing population, effective immediately, according to…