“It can’t be true,” you say. “There must have been a mix-up or the reporter got the name wrong.” Your heart races. The hair on…
Bernie Sanders Stuck with Six Gallons of Lentil Stew Following Poorly-Attended Food Not Bombs Meetup
Bernie Sanders Stuck with Six Gallons of Lentil Stew Following Poorly-Attended Food Not Bombs Meetup
LAFAYETTE, Ind. — Democratic Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders reportedly has nearly six gallons of uneaten lentil stew after a local Food Not Bombs meetup failed…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local five-piece outfit Brain Pollution have completed their successful transition from forgettable hardcore act into atrocious metal band, disappointing unsuspecting fans throughout…
CINCINNATI — Local band Circus Warfare last week took in their fourth new drummer within the past year, but have yet to name her to…
FAIRFAX, Va. — The NRA condemned New Zealand today as “hypocrites” for failing to crack down on legendary bladed weapons and enchanted objects of immeasurable…
Jordan Peele’s highly anticipated sophomore horror spectacle, ‘Us’ hit the silver screen this past week featuring themes of duality, systematic oppression, and freaking sick Black…
PORT CHESTER, N.Y. — Doom metal band Satan’s Bong asked organizers of the Black Grief Festival if the band had time to perform one more…
Hi. You don’t know me, but perhaps you have noticed me, as I have noticed you. Frankly in a scene this small, I have a…
MANCHESTER, N. H. — Democratic Presidential Candidate Bernie Sanders announced today that he is seeking additional staff for his election campaign, looking in particular for…
Dear Scabby: When will YOU come to Brazil? Does Bruno Mars is gay? -ANONYMOUS Dear Anonymous: Why would I pay to go to Brazil when…
Some of the great mysteries of music are: Who was Carly Simon talking about in ‘You’re So Vain’? What did Billie Joe throw off the…
ATLANTA — Bassist Adam Frost has joined local metal outfit Niceguy Genocide in a lucrative, two-year deal worth an estimated $100, Frost’s management team confirmed…
Today, we have ranked every single one of UK white supremacist band Skrewdriver’s full-length albums— but it didn’t have to be this way. If you…
MARIETTA, Ga. — Car owner Charlie Simmons admitted today that he swapped out his copy of Belle & Sebastian’s album Dear Catastrophe Waitress for Pantera’s…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Courts ruled today that 32-year-old Justin Evans will be tried as an adult on murder charges despite owning a Line 6 amplifier,…