YOUR FRIEND’S LIVING ROOM — Multiple sources at the party you’re currently attending confirmed that it would be “totally weird” if we were to kiss…
ATLANTA — A mannequin positioned in the storefront of a newly established clothing store in East Atlanta Village is “kinda hot… is that weird?” according…
Recently, we here at The Hard Times have been going through some pretty… well, hard times. Fortunately, the bartender at our favorite speakeasy, The Crusty…
DULUTH, Minn. — A pair of blue grippy socks given to local punk Kim Duverne while in rehab for methamphetamine addiction have just celebrated 10…
LOS ANGELES — Local showgoer Hannah Bishop left Tower Bar’s only bathroom late last night in a state many witnesses described as “irreparably fouled,” grossed-out…
CARLSBAD, N.M. — Avid Tinder user Myles Soto enjoyed playing Devil’s advocate last night while his date begged him to empathize with her most painful…
Despite our reputation for edginess and youthful rebellion, we here at The Hard Times admit that sometimes when there’s a problem to deal with there…
WASHINGTON — Departing employee Bridget Hogan’s profanity laced email instructing her former bosses to go fuck themselves was downgraded to a polite thanking of her…
EDEN — God, the almighty, omnipresent being responsible for the creation of life itself, finally confirmed that he removed Adam’s rib primarily so Adam could…
WHEATON, Ill. — The intimate detail given by Pastor Ryan Landry at the wedding of Lauren Frey and Michael Dent led wedding attendees to conclude…
The real barrier to eating vegan is the lack of fast food options. In our culture if you want a steaming bun of microwaved murder…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — Amateur GG Allin impersonator, and introverted man that has no business being on any stage, Logan Ethridge insisted he was unable…
LAS VEGAS — Local punk Andrew “RatFink” Haseley was recently offered a cool $300 by the hit History Channel show “Pawn Stars” under the condition…
ATLANTA — Local woman Anna Valentina shared Monday that the most redeeming aspect of being polyamorous is having the freedom to stay open to a…
I hope you assholes are happy. Recently, The Hard Times asked our readers, who we honestly thought were more mature than this, to vote on…