DETROIT — Avid cannabis consumer Jake Sweeney exploded in rage today after finding a seed in his marijuana for the first time in over three…
LOS ANGELES — The International Committee for Problematic Favorites announced today that die-hard defenders of Morrissey have won the 2019 gold medal in mental gymnastics,…
NEW YORK — The highly anticipated Ramones “Word of the Day” calendar was released yesterday, which disappointed but unsurprised fans found repeats itself by mid-March…
LOS ANGELES — The artificial intelligence algorithm behind LANDR’s audio mastering service yesterday remastered all songs it received into Chumbawamba’s “Tubthumping,” according to mildly peeved…
EL PASO, Texas — Democratic Presidential candidate Beto O’Rourke faced increased scrutiny from political adversaries yesterday following accusations alleging he deleted dozens of nü-metal mp3s…
When The Hard Times scored an interview with Jack White we were thrilled. However, what he said was so excruciatingly, unrelentingly pretentious I decided ‘fuck…
Art is self expression. Art is thought-provoking. Art shines a mirror onto society so that it can see the ugliness within itself. My art expresses…
AKRON, Ohio — New local venue The Roach Trap has set the DIY punk scene ablaze with its endless amenities, including a kitchen, bedrooms, and…
RICHMOND, Va. — Members of the disbanded hardcore group Surge Protector reunited in secret last night to discuss ending their retirement to make one last…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Right Cross frontman Tony Cooper went well out of his way last night to make sure everyone attending his band’s show was…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Democratic Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders would not stop yelling at sound guy Ethan Gardner about “Medicare for All” during a campaign rally…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — 26-year-old data scientist Ricky LeBlanc reportedly impressed party guests last night by opening their beers with the butt end of his…
LOS ANGELES — ’90s electronica artist Moby dismissed today the negative statements you allegedly made about him on a friends’ Instagram post, with the musician…
ENDICOTT, N.Y. — A small punk community in central New York officially ran out of new scene members to fuck late yesterday evening, sources who…
MADRID — Valeria Lopez, the oldest millennial in the world, died late last night at the age of 39 following complications from a recent surgery,…