WASHINGTON — President Trump held a press conference this morning to drink a full cup of COVID-19, hoping the gesture will calm the nerves of…
Did they cancel your band’s show this weekend because of the quarantine? Ah, stinker! And this was the one I was definitely, for sure planning…
LOS ANGELES — Local metalhead Layne Medema spoke with a representative from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention hotline for well over an hour…
Before we talk about this I’m going to need you to sit down. No, don’t sit on that chair. That’s the one I broke because…
NEW YORK — The Carfax Car Fox TV mascot shocked the world this past Monday as the latest to be diagnosed with the COVID-19 virus.…
Sex education in America is deplorable. Public schools are still trying to teach abstinence as if half the students aren’t already boning under the bleachers…
HOUSTON — Confused guy and self-described “gym rat” Hunter Brooks habitually motioned today for a woman at a local Planet Fitness to remove her N95…
When one thinks of cinema auteurs, very few names loom larger than filmmaker David Lynch. The creative mind behind such films as “Blue Velvet,” “Mullholland…
PORTLAND, Maine — Residents of local punk house the Fire Trap added more tap water today to the house’s already severely diluted bottle of Dr.…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Popular OnlyFans model LilVickiXX posted a new video earlier today where she showed her ass, tits, and difficulty breathing, concerned sources…
Few character actors have had as prolific of a career as the great Joe Don Baker. But who are we kidding? Unless you recently binged…
CLEVELAND — Democratic presidential frontrunner Joe Biden stunned supporters today by soliciting foreign interference from Russian intelligence operatives to help him log in to his…
I got fired. Yeah, I admit it. I was fired BUT, I’m totally fine with it, ’cause that band sucked and I was gonna quit…
MINNEAPOLIS — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommended not attending a local house show tonight to limit the spread of Fighting in the…
DUTCHESS, N.Y. — Endlessly bashful man Dan Jennick admitted today that he’s made extra trips to his local Starbucks during his current crush’s shifts all…