This past week we all watched as executive chef Jeff Tray was eliminated from the hit Food Network show “Chopped” after the dimwit attempted to…
LOS ANGELES — Human remains discovered in a shallow grave in Angeles Forest yesterday were identified as those of legendary skateboarding pioneer Won-Ton “Animal” Chin,…
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local conspiracy theorist Vinnie Logano discovered a secret plot yesterday to kick him out of the “BFF Forever” group chat, according to…
Today I was slated to have an in-depth discussion with a Minneapolis police officer about the situation on the ground and how he feels about…
AKRON, Ohio — Local cop Officer Ryan Kowalcyzk admitted he is having a tough time separating the assault he commits at work from the assault…
Communication is the key to a successful relationship. Without healthy, reciprocal communication every disagreement is at risk of turning into an argument. With poor communication,…
WASHINGTON — President Trump’s experimental use of the anti-malarial drug Hydroxychloroquine has transformed the Commander-in-Chief from a boorish, morbidly obese, whiny turd into the suave…
EGG HARBOR, N.J. — Spirit Halloween announced today that they will keep their stores closed until October, when they will reopen for a month before…
The other day I’m down in Pioneer Forest Preserve minding my own business, doing my thing. Next thing you know this family comes up to…
PITTSFORD, Vt. — 28-year-old Alex Solorzano is now in his seventh week of blaming social distancing for his sexual inactivity, despite several years of sexual…
MINNEAPOLIS — Rioters protesting the unlawful killing of another unarmed black man at the hands of police officers successfully burned Minneapolis’ Third Precinct police station…
Last night the people of Minneapolis rose up and set fire to a police precinct in response to the murder of George Floyd. Many are…
DUBLIN, Ga. — Members of the official Facebook group for all things related to Dublin, Ga., have finally stopped hiding their prejudiced opinions and transitioned…
Sup’ corona-crotches! So you’re stuck in your house and you can’t go anywhere. You’ve been cooped up so long now your hair has gone from…
NEW YORK — NYC Police Commissioner Dermot Shea confirmed today that police shooting targets all come standard with their backs turned, clearing up any speculation…