NEW YORK — OneStar Bank CEO Finnegan Bostwick claimed today that if the U.S. Congress doesn’t pass a separate bailout including $40 billion for his…
Other aspects of life do not end just because we’re in some form of quarantine and this includes self care. Wait, did you see that?…
LOS ANGELES — Social media website MySpace announced today it will require their singular employee to work from home during the COVID-19 pandemic, according to…
Congratulations on your decision to try hallucinogenic drugs! Now that you’ve dropped your bean, things are about to get pretty weird. You will soon lose…
WASHINGTON — Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos stood triumphantly beneath a “Mission Accomplished” banner in an empty cafetorium yesterday after the coronavirus allowed her to…
When this whole coronavirus thing is all over and we look back, it is going to be the brave men and women of our service…
ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local man and alleged “wannabe Patch Adams bitch” Dan Paulson is allegedly acting like “he cured polio or some shit” just…
UTICA, N.Y. — Trapped at home for over a week due to the coronavirus, out-of-work waiter Jim Stevens is quickly running out of excuses to…
OMAHA, Neb. — Local punk and part-time crafts enthusiast Mark Penderson, seeing a need for DIY face masks to help fight the spread of COVID-19,…
It’s a pretty well-known fact that the television show “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” has been a breeding ground for influential crossover thrash acts…
LOS ANGELES — Ethically non-monogamous couples around the world announced today that open relationships will be closed indefinitely to help ensure social distancing in response…
Hey there, just wanted to pop into the comments section of this memorial post for your late husband and let you know that, while coronavirus…
FLAVORTOWN — Celebrity chef and T.V. personality Guy Fieri was placed under unexpected quarantine due to the coronavirus after arriving in Flavortown this week, bomb-ass…
ATLANTA — Musician, comedian, and actor Donald Glover released a vaccine he created for COVID-19 on his website donaldpresentsthecure.com at 4 a.m. this morning and…
In this very trying time, it is important that we are able to have a rational conversation with those in charge of our future. We…