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“Stepdad Wall” in Portland Alright if You Call It “Steve Wall”

PORTLAND, Ore. — “Mom Walls” and “Dad Walls” barricading themselves in front of local law enforcement and federal agents have now accepted the “Stepdad Wall” at BLM protests, which is cool with you calling it the “Steve Wall” if you like, sources happy with whatever makes you most comfortable report.

“We’re just happy to be here in support of racial justice,” said webmaster and Stepdad Wall spokesperson Steve McAllister. “We’re not here to get in between the Mom Wall and the Dad Wall — they’ve been totally upfront about their intentions from the start. But we have to say, the Dad Wall seems to be pretty boozy and has a lot of excuses for not coming to weekly meetings, but who are we to judge?”

Despite the Stepdad Wall’s intentions, protesters grew incensed when they realized the Stepdad Wall might be encroaching on the Dad Wall’s territory.

“You know what? Fuck the Steve Wall!’ exclaimed local protester Fern Maitlan. “The Steve Wall thinks it can just jump right in, and it’s gonna ruin everything the Mom Wall and the Dad Wall fought for the last three months. I guess I have no say in this relationship, per usual. Whatever. The Steve Wall will never be a real Dad Wall; I don’t care how cool it thinks it is.”

Dodging a less-lethal round, Mom Wall organizer Florence Brown encouraged protestors to keep an open mind about the Steve Wall.

“The Steve Wall really stepped up to the plate when we needed it, and that’s more than I can say about the Dad Wall,” said Brown. “The Steve Wall put itself in front of cops and federal agents more than the Dad Wall ever did, even when the Dad Wall only needed to show up for a couple of hours every other weekend. Plus, the Steve Wall is much better at oral.”

Following the protest, the Steve Wall insisted that protesters clean up the garbage fires lit during the demonstration, but was undermined by the Dad Wall, who claimed that the Steve Wall was “overreacting.”