EDGARTOWN, Mass. — Residents of the popular New England summer destination Martha’s Vineyard reported that a local coot and grizzled sailor known only as “McGill”…
ANDALUSIA, Pa. — A group of preteen boys playing in the woods yesterday were “totally meh” after stumbling upon a first-generation, unlocked iPhone chock full…
Here’s a Made up Story About the Recording of Pearl Jam’s ‘Ten’ Because the Real One Is Super Boring
Here’s a Made up Story About the Recording of Pearl Jam’s ‘Ten’ Because the Real One Is Super Boring
So we’re about halfway through the second paragraph of the Wikipedia for ‘Ten’ and the only thing we’ve learned so far is that Pearl Jam…
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Experts warned today that listening to the hit Mountain Goats song “This Year” is no longer enough to motivate Americans to get…
NAPERVILLE, Ill. — Viking metal band Fjord Destroyer took a local Chili’s restaurant by storm during the evening rush last night, utterly defiling multiple lovely…
SEATTLE — Seattle police officers attempting to complete a routine first-aid course last week finished their training session by kneeling on the necks of bullet-ridden…
Can you guys hear me ok? What’s that? I can see your faces but can’t hear anything. Can you guys hear me? Tim’s nodding so…
IMPERIAL BEACH, Calif. — A punk shark known to terrorize beachgoers attacked a scuba diver by ripping the sleeves off his wetsuit earlier today, Coast…
The Coil era has begun and here is the first bonus episode of Coward Hour. Nik has grown a mustache.
PARIS — Auteur director Wes Anderson reportedly punched a hole into the drywall of his penthouse apartment last night after getting outbid on a Victorian-era…
PORTLAND, Ore. — “Mom Walls” and “Dad Walls” barricading themselves in front of local law enforcement and federal agents have now accepted the “Stepdad Wall”…
If there’s one thing I’m sick of, it’s these out-of-touch bureaucrats in Washington telling me how to live my life. As far as I’m concerned,…
JACKSON, Mich. — Rock‘n’roll legend Ted Nugent blasted Presidential candidate Joe Biden in an open letter today after the presumptive Democratic nominee played Nugent’s classic…
LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Conestoga Distillery, the makers of popular new Vulture Rye whiskey, have disrupted the market by selling their product in the least-efficient bottle…
PARADISE VALLEY, Ariz. — A seasoned and fatigued Rob Halford admitted today that after nearly five decades of donning inflexible studded leather outfits, he is…