Dad. He is just the goddamn worse. It’s like, why do we even have this guy? We’ve all seen characters in film and television that…
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local dad Will Lowe somehow managed to accidentally “reply all” the national emergency alert test FEMA sent to all devices in America…
WASHINGTON — An ominous pulsating dark orb with unknown powers is set to replace Kevin McCarthy as the Speaker of the House following a historic…
HACKENSACK, N.J. — Local North Jersey hardcore scene member Brian Dobbs decided that after years of being a fervent fan of hockey, it was finally…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — 43-year-old Van Halen fan Jared “Keyz” Keaton fulfilled his lifelong dream of playing the “Jump” synth intro at every Guitar Center location…
For countless, immeasurable eons, we Cenobites have watched humanity and all your little joys and tiny torments. We are demons to some, angels to others.…
Excessive betting has the potential to destroy not only your own life, but that of your entire family. With the rise of services like DraftKings…
Music has the power to help us heal and get to the core of our deepest feelings. In fact, many who need honest-to-god-actual therapy often…
WASHINGTON — A recent survey conducted by the Pew Research Center found alarming evidence that the majority of Americans confidently believe that prehistoric dinosaurs walked…
You know you’re in a huge band when an iPhone autocorrects the spelling of your band name if it is unintentionally misspelled with an apostrophe…
When we think of filmmaker Stanley Kubrick’s 1980 masterpiece, The Shining, we all only think of one thing: the actor who played the guy in…
RICHMOND, Va. — Self-proclaimed alpha male Tom Harrington was left fighting for his life in the ICU after accidentally touching an unopened box of tampons,…
Face tattoos are the ultimate sign of someone who doesn’t give a shit, or doesn’t realize how stupid a face tattoo actually looks. But which…
ORLANDO, Fla. — Local mother Doreen Ludip was shocked and outraged to discover a copy of the “Diary of Anne Frank,” which documents the Nazi…
Avenged Sevenfold formed in 1999, released their debut LP “Sounding the Seventh Trumpet” in 2001 via Good Life Recordings, a Belgian independent record label with…