2024 is coming up and a lot of great bands are heading on the road … but Lindsay and Adam just broke up and Lindsay does NOT want to bump into him at shows. So let’s go over the 15 bands you should not even consider trying to see live next year because your favorite show companion is making your life tougher than it needs to be.
Death Cab For Cutie
If you didn’t catch Death Cab on their anniversary tour of “Transatlanticism” – they’ll be back on the road in 2024! Too bad Adam will be there. Remember he worked at some label for a while and now he just gets tickets to stuff? Anyway you know that if you guys saw him there it would really just ruin the whole vibe and Lindsay would lock herself in a bathroom stall for most of the show.
NYC darlings Vampire Weekend are touring in 2024 and you were one click away from buying you and Lindsay tickets, but then Adam posted on his story that he and all his Columbia friends bought on the presale. Lindsay reminded you in graphic detail the things she and Adam used to do listening to Vampire Weekend when they would both call into work sick, and now you feel a little queasy.
The Pacific Northwest indie rockers are on tour again, which is good news…. for people who love bad news – Lindsay gave Adam this show in the break up to try and look mature after she broke his lamp.
Art Rock quartet Warpaint is actually only playing an upstate show this tour and Adam’s roommate Jerry has a car, so he wins this one.
Yes, Adam is going to be at this show too, he’s very connected and has a lot of free weekends. And I know that you’re thinking – you can catch Indie Rock icons Violent Femmes on the New York stop of their tour without Lindsay. But honestly she’s not been in an emotionally great place since the break-up and if you went without her things could get…messy.
It’s a house show. It’s Adam’s house. They would need the SWAT team on standby.
Emo/punk legends Joyce Manor are in town and Adam actually hates Joyce Manor, so you and Lindsay are in the clear right? Wrong. This new girl Adam’s seeing likes Joyce Manor, what if she’s there? What if he’s with her???
Trailblazers of the Omaha scene Bright Eyes are touring and if you can believe it, Adam actually ran a Bright Eyes fan forum back in the 2000s, so he’s like a freakin’ Bright Eyes celebrity. Now you and Lindsay can’t even really see ANY Conor Oberst projects which is so FUCKED.
Tigers Jaw seems to be touring constantly. Remember the three of you saw them together the last time they toured? Adam bright his buddy Rick and you two made out a bit then Rick said he was married and started crying. So that’s a whole emotional minefield now.
Slaughter, Beach Dog
Also touring is Slaughter, Beach Dog the band fronted by Jake Ewald formerly of Modern Baseball …and also formerly a classmate of Adam’s in middle school? This guy ALWAYS has an angle.
The New Pornographers
Vancouver indie outfit fronted by Neko Case is on the road in 2024. Also Neko Case was Adam’’s hall pass when he and Lindsay were together, so that’s very triggering for her now.
So this one was a whole fight. You told Lindsay you love Cloud Nothings and you’re going to see them regardless of Adam. She said that you were a bad friend AND that their last album wasn’t good. While you were fighting the show sold out.
2000s indie band The Walkmen are touring and Adam won’t be there! But your ex Danny will. Also so will Lindsay. No fucking loyalty.
Yo La Tengo
Last weekend Adam and Lindsay ran into each other at a bar on the Lower East Side. They started chatting and it was like no time had passed, they couldn’t even remember why they broke up. They talked until last call, then he walked her home. They saw the sun rise. There was something still there, between them. On a whim they bought Yo La Tengo tickets together. But in the morning, things looked different. Nothing had really changed, their problems were still their problems. They decided no one should go to the show. They both sold their tickets.
Adam’s an American Express card holder.