BATON ROUGE, La. — The ghost of Winston Batts, a cobbler and hobbyist clarinetist who died in 1944, is finally inspired enough to begin work…
Ozma is one of those bands that should be way bigger than they are. While people complained about Weezer’s arguably lackluster output for the last…
G.I. Joe is the code name for America’s daring, highly trained, special mission force. Its purpose: To defend human freedom against Cobra, a ruthless, terrorist…
SPARKS, Nev. — Local methamphetamine addict Chuck “Bucket” Kane was shocked to discover an invitation to tour a secretive drug lab in his bag of…
The mind is an incredible thing when used correctly, but it’s even more impressive when used incorrectly. Concerned coworkers and people who rely on a…
MONTCLAIR, Calif. — Hot Topic announced the rollout of its biggest savings in store history with the inaugural Back to Summer School Sale, sources close…
Philly has unfairly been the butt end of a lot of jokes about being full of misanthropic sports gremlins, but if we’re being honest with…
NOBLESVILLE, Ind. — Local metalhead Lonny Godwin, a man who was conceived in the handicapped stall in the bathroom of The Union Bar in Iowa…
WAUKEE, Iowa — Tardy metalhead Colby Shelton accidentally wore his young sister’s Girl Scout vest to a recent show, mistaking it for his battle vest,…
Walk down the corridors of an oncology wing anywhere in the country and you’ll learn just how “fair” life is. A chorus of “Why her?”…
SEATTLE — Local goth Amelia Jones discovered the only way she can fall asleep is through the use of a white noise machine projecting the…
WASHINGTON — President Biden congratulated Mexico’s first female president Claudia Sheinbaum on her win and promised Americans that this country’s glass ceiling will also be…
CLAY CENTER, Kan. — An environmental catastrophe devastated a local farmer’s field after a malfunctioning wind turbine caused a dangerous amount of wind to spill…
Hybrid cars sure are nifty! Being able to run on gas or battery power is perfect for people who feel kind of bad about exhaust…
LOS ANGELES — Local shelter cat Midnight is holding out hope that legendary frontman Glenn Danzig will show up in the waning minutes of today’s…