As I write this proclamation, it’s been seven hours, 15 days and 5 years since the passing of The Purple One. While the legacy of…
Alright, so I know I’m probably gonna get some pushback on this and, honestly, I get it. I know my kid is supposed to be…
When I say “cultural celebration,” what’s the first thing that comes to mind? Thanks to the long-term effects of thoughtful, nuanced celebrations like Cinco de…
First of all, I just want to say to all my friends and family, thank you for your concern. I really appreciate it but I’m…
My neighbor has a lawn gnome whose shadow lands on my property. Needless to say, I’ve been researching hitmen on the dark web for the…
The big music publications are scared. No one clicks on articles anymore except for clickbait-y Top 100 lists. They would all go out of business…
Every morning, I wake up and lay in bed, thinking about how my day is going to go while listening to the birds sing their…
Look, some things are just set in stone. 2 + 2 = 4. “I” before “E” except after “C.” Flu shots cause irreversible testicular torsion…
Cultural sensibilities change and evolve over time. In our current cultural climate there are just certain things you could get away with on television in…
The conversation surrounding what should be done about gun violence in America has become more exhausting than ever; with each shooting, a nationwide argument ensues…
Suburbs have always existed in a symbiotic relationship to their neighboring cities. And in turn, suburbanites exist in symbiotic relation to their neighbors. If you…
I can tell what you’re thinking from across the showroom. I know you want to pick one up, strum it like a jackass that has…
Listen, I’m not usually one to get snobby about alcohol but after years of refining my palette in the finest bus stations and public restrooms…
Traditions can eat a dick. They’re always accompanied by violent cultural baggage or a devastating family memory involving my Aunt. However, a few years back,…
The world is changing and the local music scene is no different. People are bringing politics into everything, every band has opinions they’re cramming down…