PHILADELPHIA — Jealous husband and punker Shaun Grables is starting to suspect that his wife is secretly having sex with The Dead Milkmen while he’s…
ORCHARD PARK, N.Y. — Local die-hard Casualties fan Jeremy Stillman was struck with what was described as “blood curdling terror” after waking up from a…
EDISON, N.J. — Local high school band and orchestra teacher Christa Dimarco mastered the vocal art of screaming at a higher level than most professional…
WASHINGTON — Legendary hardcore vocalist and sunburn victim Ian MacKaye reportedly became irritated with his friends and family for failing to alert him to more…
Glenn Danzig is known for a lot of things. He’s the legendary singer of the Misfits and other bands, he loves old horror movies, and…
Long Island has a lot going for it. It’s got a couple of beaches, bagels, and more emo bands per capita than anywhere else in…
“Oh yeah, Fishbone… I saw them [open for the Beastie Boys/play Lollapalooza/on tour with Parliament, etc. – fill in nearly any rock act], they were…
WASHINGTON — Local punk exorcist Benicio “Scary” Scaramucci admitted he didn’t see any problems with the sinister child threatening nuns and puking everywhere when asked…
SOUTH CENTERVILLE, N.Y. — Stunned audience members of a recent Ripped Hymnal set were understandably fidgety after realizing the vocalist prepared for a between song…
SPEARFISH, S.D. – A small town is mired in chaos after teenage punk Jill Mulgrove said that the town’s government, church, and businesses are in…
NEW YORK — Frontman Derek Hughes of local hardcore band 10th Period Beatdown was shocked after he noticed a large chunk of the microphone he…
Last weekend, I was thrown out of my favorite bar for being “too aggressive” after attempting to throw a chair at someone who said I…
PATERSON, N.J. — Local garbage collector Vince LePaglia couldn’t believe the putrid stench emanating from the tour van of punk band The Oozing Lesions that…
LODI, N.J. — A worrisome lump found on legendary Misfits guitarist Doyle Wolfgang Von Frankenstein’s neck ended up being an extra abdominal muscle, relieved sources…
LOS ANGELES — Dead Kennedy’s superfan Mike Luger was in for a surprise today after he discovered that his new Jello Biafra GPS voice was…