WASHINGTON — Local punk exorcist Benicio “Scary” Scaramucci admitted he didn’t see any problems with the sinister child threatening nuns and puking everywhere when asked…
SOUTH CENTERVILLE, N.Y. — Stunned audience members of a recent Ripped Hymnal set were understandably fidgety after realizing the vocalist prepared for a between song…
SPEARFISH, S.D. – A small town is mired in chaos after teenage punk Jill Mulgrove said that the town’s government, church, and businesses are in…
NEW YORK — Frontman Derek Hughes of local hardcore band 10th Period Beatdown was shocked after he noticed a large chunk of the microphone he…
Last weekend, I was thrown out of my favorite bar for being “too aggressive” after attempting to throw a chair at someone who said I…
PATERSON, N.J. — Local garbage collector Vince LePaglia couldn’t believe the putrid stench emanating from the tour van of punk band The Oozing Lesions that…
LODI, N.J. — A worrisome lump found on legendary Misfits guitarist Doyle Wolfgang Von Frankenstein’s neck ended up being an extra abdominal muscle, relieved sources…
LOS ANGELES — Dead Kennedy’s superfan Mike Luger was in for a surprise today after he discovered that his new Jello Biafra GPS voice was…
The year was 1985. Testicular torsion continued to affect men everywhere without many people understanding what was wrong. Suddenly, one day while recording in the…
Willimantic, Conn. — Local man Robby Walsh experienced an unprecedented medical emergency when he passed out from vigorously crossing his arms during the set of…
Strung Out revolutionized punk music by being talented. Metal-infused skate punk with a hint of thrash has never been this technically proficient. The solos per…
AMARILLO, Texas — Local Ramones cover band Endless Vacation reportedly neglected to learn their instruments or songs on their setlist, according to sources who could…
LOS ANGELES — New York hardcore band H2O surprised fans with their lyrical growth and maturity with a new song about what it was like…
If Stranger Things has taught us anything, it’s that the market for 80s nostalgia is alive and well, particularly among people who were not alive…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Residents of Washington’s capitol city are reporting an influx of tourism due to Rancid’s recently launched GPS app which reroutes all users…