GAINSVILLE, Fla. — Iconic third-wave ska band Less Than Jake has formed a supergroup with 90s alt-rock band Better Than Ezra, with early reports suggesting…
I’m not a sociopath. I’m aware that you can’t see through my tall, chiseled, fragrant body. And I feel bad about it. But life isn’t…
READING, Pa. — Local punk mom and recent fitness enthusiast Patti Clacher surprised members of her mall-walking meetup group today by showing up with a…
MILWAUKEE — Representatives from the top acoustic bass manufacturers gathered yesterday outside Violent Femmes bassist Brian Ritchie’s house to beg him to purchase another bass…
DETROIT — A neglected Hoover WindTunnel vacuum currently stuffed in the front closet of notorious punk house The Slayboy Mansion is desperately yearning for the…
AUSTIN, Texas — Self-proclaimed anarchist punk Craig Garson, who once stabbed a police officer while on LSD, was flabbergasted last night by the latest episode…
LAFAYETTE, La. — Local guitarist and misanthrope Jeremy Waggoner joined his friend’s band Punted Child earlier this month to avoid any possibility of ever receiving…
NEW YORK — Comedy Central announced the cancelation of “Straight Edge History” last night immediately after it’s inaugural episode aired, citing record-low ratings for a…
MILWAUKEE — Local punk Doug Reece is surprised and deeply troubled that he has lived long enough for his metabolism to decrease so significantly, according…
BALTIMORE — Local frontman Dave Kuenen of hardcore band Hammer & Nail is under scrutiny today for allegedly cheating on his long-term diet with an…
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Old-school punk and the woman you call “Grandma,” Ophelia “Snotcock” Dillon, noticed you no longer come by to borrow her van for…
PHILADELPHIA — Adam Lyons, the lead singer of local band Krawlspace, was deeply offended yesterday after finding a kill-list written by a deranged super-fan with…
We here at The Hard Times have always been fascinated with the thought experiment that if you give a monkey a typewriter and an infinite…
CARSON CITY, Nev. — 63-year-old punk Ardith “Ardie” Keith cannot believe you haven’t heard of obscure local band Frankie and The Pussies, who broke up…
REVERE, Mass. — Misguided 43-year-old street punk Martin “Peanut” Landers announced today that he will be upping his cigarette intake to help himself lose 15…