ST. PAUL, Minn. — Mathcore band The David Hilbert Filter Box has successfully converted the harsh 6.2 Pitchfork review of their debut EP into a…
SAN FRANCISCO — Greg Franken, local embarrassed and disappointed father, dropped off his son at some sort of nerd convention for a band named “Real…
BOSTON — Raw Sex guitarist Steve Dyer hopes to land a “fucking awesome” photo of him playing at a show later tonight to potentially serve…
AUCKLAND, N.Z. — Property developers demolishing iconic local venue the Queens Arms sold the impossibly sticky floor to an international flypaper manufacturer on Wednesday, as…
GREAT NECK, N.Y. — Straight edge hardcore vocalist Brody Meenan’s date last night came to an unceremonious end after several unsuccessful attempts to connect with…
VALPARAISO, Ind. — Local punk band Panama Root Canal enjoyed a record turnout last night for the Cleveland stop of their Midwest tour when their…
CLEVELAND — Metalhead Tom Stanza was deeply perplexed yesterday by the ambiguous review of metal band Gorefucker’s newest album Toxic Cum, confused sources confirmed. “First…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Hedonistic rocker Andrew W.K held a press conference today to address accusations that his stage persona may be a “gimmick,” releasing…
SEATTLE — Punk band The Dead Labor issued a public apology today via Facebook for the “unapologetic and raw” lyrical content of their new album,…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Punk band Dump Cumsters finally gained entry into Canada this morning after nine hours of explaining to border agents that their Canadian…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Aging punk Archie Simpson was left speechless last night after discovering his 10-year-old cousin ironically listening to an album he considers “life-changing,”…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local punk Ciara Reynolds is still perplexed by the tracking status for her package was updated from “delivered” to “stolen” in a…
DENVER — BeatBox, a new subscription service designed to help struggling musicians, began its first round of new drummer deliveries to the doorsteps of paying…
DENVER — Members of the Denver hardcore crew Punch ‘Til Dead supported their local music scene again last night by standing outside in the parking…
SAN DIEGO — Local hardcore kid and Terror fan Aidan Bennett purchased a new dental insurance plan yesterday in anticipation of the band’s upcoming release…