So you barely it through another week, but have you made it through the most important news stories from the last seven days? If not, now’s your one and only chance.
Metalhead Won’t Stop Using “Dopesmoker Listens” as Unit of Time Measurement
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Death Put On Administrative Leave After Failing to Kill Mitch McConnellDeath Put On Administrative Leave After Failing to Kill Mitch McConnell
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Oscars Attempt to Engage Younger Audience by Giving Lifetime Achievement Award to Timothée Chalamet
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Precocious 11-Year-Old Taylor Swift Fan Already Doxxing Critics at High School Level
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Punk Celebrates 20 Years of Complaining About AFI Selling Out
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I Gave John Lennon the Finger Guns the Day He Died and I’ve Felt Guilty Ever Since
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We Tried To See if Dead Baby Jokes Were Still a Thing and Now We’re Being Called Into HR
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Singer Celebrating 1 Million Spotify Streams Needed Back in Frozen Food Section
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Sadistic One-Hit Wonder Band Clearly Getting Off on Waiting Until Encore to Play Popular Song
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Uncle Struggling to Explain How 100 gecs Descended from the Blues
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We Sat Down With the Remaining Members of Poison, Which Turns Out Is All of Them
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Nicole Kidman Video About Importance of Scene Unity to Run Before Hardcore Shows
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Irish Pub Doesn’t Have Dropkick Murphys, Wonders If Flogging Molly Is Okay
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Aging Millennial Just Going to Have Quiet St. Patrick’s Day Getting Shitfaced at Home
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