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Uncle Struggling to Explain How 100 gecs Descended from the Blues

TULSA, Okla. — Local elitist and retired CPA Ronnie Clayton really struggled to draw a musical thread relating the hyperpop sensations 100 gecs to the blues of yore, snickering family members reported.

“I’ve stomached tenuous arguments about how Imagine Dragons, Kendrick Lamar, and Adele all can be traced back to the blues, but none of Uncle Ron’s usual arguments work with 100 gecs,” stated a triumphant Polly Clayton, Ronnie’s niece and regular IT support guru. “He kept closing his eyes and trying to listen closely for a discernible chord progression in ‘800 db,’ but nothing ever came. That’s when his neck vein started bulging and he excused himself with a quiet rage I never heard before. I’m pretty sure he walked outside and smoked his first cigarette in 19 years.”

Mr. Clayton has been largely bedridden ever since hearing the chaotic track from 100 gecs’ debut album.

“It’s just…I don’t…Clapton is God, remember? John Mayall, where are you?” muttered Clayton, who boasts the world’s largest private Gibson Custom Shop Les Paul collection. “The gecs, how many? No 1-4-5 progression. No blues scale… pentatonic? Frightening. How do kids listen? It isn’t music. Only blues music. Doomed. Art. Bonamassa, save us. Dying now.”

100 gecs’ Laura Les admitted to some of the duo’s surprising influences.

“When Dylan and I started making music together, we were trying to recreate the Delta Blues of the 1920’s Mississippi. Turns out, we just aren’t really good at emulating that old sound no matter how hard we try,” explained Les, who recorded some of the first demos for “Money Machine” on an old resonator guitar. “Charley Patton and Blind Lemon Jefferson were my favorite bluesmen when I started out, and I’d like to think that some of our songs like ‘xXXi_wud_nvrstøp_üXXx’ and ‘Doritos & Fritos’ contain their musical DNA.”

An update from the family confirms that any progress in Uncle Ron’s condition has been set back by Sam Smith and Kim Petras’ Grammy performance of “Unholy.”