The last sun beams of fall dance a somber waltz through the leaf-bare trees as I scribe this communiqué to you – my dear readers…
BROOKLYN — Post-punk band T.F.U. has listed the empty space in front of the stage for rent on Craigslist as a summer sublet, following several…
SALT LAKE CITY — Self-identified punk Alexandra Fairuz discovered earlier today, via a search of her surname on Ancestry.com, that she descends from a long…
As an ally to all people of color, it means a great deal to me when POC address me using the vernacular of their culture.…
CHICAGO –– The guttural moans and profanity-laden shrieks emanating from the birthing tub of Kia Armetto “really added a certain something” to a DIY basement…
Oh. My. God. This is so cute my heart just broke and I’m literally fucking crying in the office. Loudly. Like, I’m making a fucking…
Listen up bro. I’ve discovered a muscle-building supplement unlike any other and if you want to get JACKED like me, I have found the key.…
PHILADELPHIA — Self-checkout unit 2012X-C14 gave two weeks notice yesterday to its Main Line Food Empire store in order to pursue its dream of performing…
A good viral video is like a short story. When an underdog rises to the occasion, takes on the world, and comes out on top…
PEORIA, Ill. — Local teen Billy Johnston was left in critical condition earlier today after being yelled at by a friend’s mother, according to multiple…
PYONGYANG, North Korea – North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un vowed to decimate the city of Los Angeles with his distinctive style of bass guitar, in…
LOS ANGELES — The popular streaming service Hulu engaged customer Amy Klein in a “bizarre, masochistic torture ritual” earlier this week, forcing her to choose her…
CLEVELAND — Local music store employee Sammy Howard takes every opportunity to inform customers that his band was “this fuckin’ close to making it huge,”…
In our nation’s current state of total buzzkill, it’s more important than ever to focus on what makes us the same rather than what makes…
CHICAGO — Singer/guitarist of political punk band Numb Chomsky and Global Political Systems Ph.D. candidate Miles “The Throat” Fitzsimmons realized during last night’s rehearsal that…