Dan Kozuh
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CHICAGO — Local metal fan Tracy O’Brien attempted to use the popular music identification app Shazam today to identify a…
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Rob Walker
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TAMPA, Fla. — Punk magician “Dope” Derek Dombrowski asked moments ago if anyone else performing at a birthday party might…
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John Danek
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All you pink-haired, piercing-filled, vegan terrorist thugs think being a police officer is just sooooooo easy. You assume it’s all…
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Ryan Clark
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YORBA LINDA, Calif. — Classic car owner Charles Metzger found yesterday what appeared to be dozens of rockabilly models all…
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Billy Patterson
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WASHINGTON — Disturbing new research from the Brookings Institute has found that thousands of young, white men across America are…
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Ryan Werner
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SAN FRANCISCO — The oft-ridiculed snare sound from Metallica’s 2003 album “St. Anger” announced yesterday that it will also run…
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Dan Kozuh
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Hey everyone! I just heard the Walmart over on Chestnut fired some employees because they were talking about unionizing so…
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KC Phillips
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NEW YORK — Local drivers and pedestrians too busy looking at their phones to watch where the fuck they’re going…
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Anthony Vito
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ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Storm of Justice vocalist Thad MacDuggin’s camouflage clothing and short-cropped hairstyle led to him being thanked again…
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Alex Salcido
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Ridiculously attractive man and recent Milwaukee transplant Josh Billingsley left dozens disappointed today after confirming that he…
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