BUFFALO, N.Y. — Crust-punk presidential candidate Leo “Swamp” Marsh revealed plans today to slash employment opportunities during an impassioned campaign speech held in vacant hotel…
EPHRATA, Penn. — 79-year-old grandmother Patti Leinbach was, for the first time ever, completely indifferent about her grandson Pete’s music career, sources at a weekend…
HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Upon reaching the final round of famed television game show “The Price is Right,” punk David Klein admitted his hope that the…
GRIMES, Iowa — Heavy metal fans from around the world flocked to a sleepy Des Moines, Iowa suburb last weekend to see a puddle of…
SAN DIEGO — Local punk Kelsey Hernandez insisted yet again today that her new, non-punk boyfriend is “more of a loose cannon than he appears,”…
NEW YORK — Local woman Angela Lefler experienced an unending cycle of self-loathing and regret last night after her post-date text message did not receive…
PYEONGCHANG, South Korea — U.S. snowboarder Shaun White exchanged all three of his gold medals this morning for the prestigious Mountain Dew “Dewd-of-the-Year” Trophy following…
ATLANTA — Punk couple Adrian Brooks and Vivian Morgan will try to spice up their love life for Valentine’s Day with some mutual poser play…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local punk Chelsea Bowers is reportedly preparing for what will surely be several rounds of involuntary music trivia before leaving the house…
TACOMA, Wash. — The residents of the “Scab Lab” crust punk house were evacuated last night in response to an anonymous bath bomb threat, according…
HARTFORD, Conn. — Local comical shirt collector and self-described #Resistance member Jared Wayne was overjoyed this morning by the arrival of his months-old order for…
Legendary music producer Quincy Jones is best known for his cool demeanor and ability to spot raw talent, but the 79-time Grammy Award nominee was…
2017 was a banner year for rock music so without delay here are the 10 best bands of the year. Alongside back ups for #4…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Entrepreneur and stay-at-home roommate Eunice Gibbs begrudgingly washed the dishes this morning left from her dinner last Thursday after coming upon the…
SPOKANE, Wash. — The Spokane Police investigation team asserted today that a fiber linked to the disappearance of an irreplaceable guitar stolen from a local…