BELLE ISLE, Fla. — Local goth Jess “Alexandria Ravenwood” Reynolds is heartbroken that her recently deceased aunt did not include a “one night in a…
SYDNEY, Australia — Developers behind the popular mid-2000s peer-to-peer sharing platform Kazaa announced today that files labeled “Tom_Green_Sausage_Song_AudioREAL_FUNNY” will headline the inaugural Kazaalapalooza later this…
AKRON, Ohio — Local fourth-grader Vincent “Vinny” Ortiz-Galt felt “I don’t know, just bad, I guess” about wearing a homemade bulletproof vest to school that…
PITTSBURGH — Local punk Sean Schricker was spotted around lunchtime yesterday carrying a bag of food from upscale gas station and quick-service restaurant Sheetz, even…
SANTA BARBARA, Calif. — An independent adult film company has achieved a new level of realism in lesbian pornography with their latest feature-length video of…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local mother Kerry Mendez happily spent an hour of her Sunday afternoon last week resewing a “Fuck Authority” patch to her daughter’s…
NEW YORK — Mariner Books, the publisher of “The Hard Times: The First 40 Years,” announced Friday their intention to release an audiobook version to…
TAMPA, Fla. — Local punk Stephen Lazaro broke up with his new goth girlfriend earlier this week after discovering that sex together involves over two…
EL PASO, Texas — Former Congressman and presidential hopeful Beto O’Rourke paid a visit this week for a CBS News feature to his old hometown…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Concertgoers were unfazed at last night’s Gin Blossoms show when the band played an entire set of Goo Goo Dolls songs instead…
ITHACA, N.Y. — A sentient pair of boat shoes concluded yesterday that Vampire Weekend’s sound had really evolved since their 2008 self-titled album, following a…
BOSTON — A research team of manly scientists believe they may have discovered a third emotion, in addition to anger and stoicism, that real men…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Fancy punk Gerald Harden is flaunting his wealth by hanging relatively expensive, unwashed, 400-thread count bed sheets in his bedroom windows as…
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Edison High School was set ablaze with speculation last week that it’s gym teacher, Douglas Vesely, might actually be legendary hardcore frontman…
DANVERS, Mass. — Local siblings Lisa and Danielle Burke will get to experience their first year with two different Halloween celebrations following the divorce of…