Culture Archives - Page 445

Man Has Fun, Hypothetical Debate with Woman Reliving the Most Traumatic Experience of Her Life

Shea Strauss • December 30, 2019

CARLSBAD, N.M. — Avid Tinder user Myles Soto enjoyed playing Devil’s advocate last night while his date begged him to…

Plan to Tell Boss to Fuck Off Tweaked to Thank You For the Opportunity

Patrick Crooks • December 30, 2019

WASHINGTON — Departing employee Bridget Hogan’s profanity laced email instructing her former bosses to go fuck themselves was downgraded to…

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God Confirms Adam’s Rib Was Removed so He Could Suck His Own Dick

Louie Aronowitz • December 29, 2019

EDEN — God, the almighty, omnipresent being responsible for the creation of life itself, finally confirmed that he removed Adam’s…

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Pastor Officiating Wedding Clearly Fucked Bride at One Point

Patrick Crooks • December 29, 2019

WHEATON, Ill. — The intimate detail given by Pastor Ryan Landry at the wedding of Lauren Frey and Michael Dent…

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Punk on Pawn Stars Offered $300 to Leave Store Without Causing a Scene

Patrick Coyne • December 28, 2019

LAS VEGAS — Local punk Andrew “RatFink” Haseley was recently offered a cool $300 by the hit History Channel show…

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Polyamorous Lifestyle Keeping Woman Open to Variety of Disappointing Sexual Experiences

Sari Beliak • December 28, 2019

ATLANTA — Local woman Anna Valentina shared Monday that the most redeeming aspect of being polyamorous is having the freedom…

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Scientists Discover Theoretical Fourth Thing To Do With Hands During Show

Bobby Korec • December 27, 2019

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Behavioral scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology announced a breakthrough discovery of a theoretical fourth option…

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Monogamous Man Proudly Respects One Woman at a Time

Daniel Menegaz • December 27, 2019

SEATTLE — Former ladies’ man Ethan Morrison ushered in a new, glorious era today in which he will show respect…

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We Celebrate the 25th Anniversary of Little Giants by Speculating Whose Life Has Been Destroyed by CTE

Patrick Crooks • December 27, 2019

Released in 1994, Little Giants is the classic underdog story of a misfit football team overcoming the odds to defeat…

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Man’s Punk Phase Ends With Ceremonial Purchase of Duvet Cover From West Elm

John Danek • December 26, 2019

CHICAGO — Legendary scene veteren Brent "Possum" Donello ended his punk phase with the ritual purchase of a queen-size Belgian…

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