Rachel Steele
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DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. — Fucking big shot Maria Richards felt the need to dazzle everyone by packing the dressers in…
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Josh Klasco
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DENVER — An unlikely alliance formed between a conservative uncle and socialist niece thanks to their shared distaste for the…
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Tyler Dark
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LOS ANGELES — Former precocious one-year-old and current convicted felon on parole Tommy Pickles, now 31, allegedly muttered to himself…
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Krissy Howard
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AMES, Iowa — Somewhat recently vaccinated woman Teresa Faison entered her third week of using the potential side effects of…
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Heather Cook
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NORTH HALEDON, N.J. — Local failure Max Kugler was reportedly sighted practicing his ollies at the Haledon Skate Park on…
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Mark Hassenfratz
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HARTFORD, Conn. — Local punk and 31-year-old adult man Kenny Whalen remains blissfully unaware that he is the Whalen family’s…
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Ken Taro
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DALLAS — Local sleep paralysis demon and archetypical projection of humanity’s deepest fears, Edgar, was frightened away from a routine…
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ATLANTA — Bass players across the country are the only adults over the age of 16 who are not currently…
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Heather Cook
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HADDONFIELD, Ill. — Serial killer and supernatural force of pure evil Michael Myers insists upon wearing three layers of face…
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Bobby Korec
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SEATTLE — Local cat owner Robbie Kratchiz admitted yesterday that his cat tree was the most expensive piece of furniture…
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