Tim Graham
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NEW YORK — New York hardcore scene veteran Lance Bianchi continues to assert that the quality of drinking water is…
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Chris Bratton
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WENDOVER, Utah — Acclaimed German filmmaker Werner Herzog recently married two Boston Dynamics robot dogs while vacationing in the vast…
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Tyler Roland
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LOS ANGELES — Local Leo Andrew Allsop is distraught after discovering that astrological differences appear to be an active threat…
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Ciara Murphy
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SEATTLE — Local metalhead Stan Peters is preparing himself mentally and physically to finally listen to his favorite band’s most…
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John Danek
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HUNTSVILLE, Ala. — Upholsterer Gianna Andrews stunned friends, family, and biologists with the discovery that her body consists more of…
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Colleen Nerney
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BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Bottoms from all over Kings County have formally announced their intent to unionize, their representative recently said…
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Brendan Krick
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HARRISBURG, Pa. — 35-year-old community college student and single mother Rebecca Steiner has bummed everybody out by raising her hand…
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Chris Bowen
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ALBANY, N.Y. – A severe drought of talented drummers within the local scene is forcing multiple bands to recruit novice…
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NEW YORK — Popular internet dog Muppet announced early yesterday afternoon that his cutest content will be going behind a…
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LAKEVILLE, Ind. – Townsfolk are bracing for waves of fiery lust caused by local sex symbol Scott Bailey’s distended, green…
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