As the hole in the crotch grows larger than each leg hole, my wife begs me to buy a new pair of Hanes! First of…
HELP! Please you have to do something, I’m not sure how much time I have left until I turn. As you can see, I’ve clearly…
So I was reading the newspaper today and I couldn’t help but think, what’s the deal with airline whistleblowers being found with their brains blown…
Dearest Katie, It pains me to have to write you this since we’ve spent so much time together over the past few months, but alas,…
Call me old-fashioned, but I remember a time when being a gatekeeper meant something. Back in my day gatekeepers were the guards, the bouncers. As…
Are you struggling to connect with modern dating? It’s been said that many people feel frustrated with the apps, and are looking for ways to…
When my wife Sophia and I first announced our engagement, we were surprised when it was met with a muted response from friends and family.…
If you’re reading this, it’s too late. Wingstop forgot to put ranch in the bag. The only part of your meal that mattered. Obviously the…
Doctors these days! I’ve been having migraines now for six months and I finally went to see a doctor about them after a particularly bad…
Well, I’ve gotten to the stage that everyone gets to at some point in their relationship. The part where you either break up or ask…
So it finally happened. You met someone on Tinder and have been sexting them for the past week and a half. You were supposed to…
Before embracing my naturally androgynous features, I tried to wax, contour, and push-up bra my way into feminization to avoid mean remarks from children and…
I don’t want to sound like one of those crotchety old curmudgeons who isn’t grateful that his music resonates with such a wide audience, but…
Well, it’s time to grow up, and that means budgeting. When I realized my credit score was supposed to be triple digits, I had to…
Woooo! San Diego! This beach condo is sick! Who wants edibles? I hit up that dispensary by the airport on our way here. The dude…