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Opinion: Some of You Never Had to Duct Tape Your Discman Shut in High School and It Shows

It seems like wherever you look these days, we’re surrounded by people who’ve never known a minute of strife, let alone minor inconvenience. How nice it would be to have everything handed to you on a silver plate. No wonder there are so many grown adults out there who don’t know how to change a lightbulb or zip tie their bumper back onto their 2011 Nissan Elantra.

That kind of grit only comes through the trials and tribulations of being a teen in a working class family, and it’s clear many of you never had to duct tape your Discman shut in order for it to work.

You want to know what real struggle is like? Try concealing from your parents the fact that you had your Discman stepped on at a track meet. And it was one of those shoes with the spikes too! I’m also willing to bet that only a few of you could only listen to Weezer by sitting on your CD player because the tape’s glue holding it shut was disintegrating. It’s that kind of quick thinking grit and that’s being lost to time

So it was either duct tape it shut and pray, or wait until Christmas. Bear in mind I’m talking about the late 90’s Discman that were built like bricks and not easy to break. Telling your dad that you fucked it up was not an option.

It’s the kind of thing that builds character, and it’s not hard to spot the ones who’ve never had to MacGuyver your personal belongings to function. Can you afford a new iPhone whenever you crack the screen or not have to prop your air conditioner up with a stack of cinder blocks you found at a construction site? If you answered yes to either of these, you’re an asshole.

Gen Z is constantly being shit upon for not knowing how technology works or how to jerry rig their belongings. But if their parents never had to shake a Discman in order to get the bass booster to work, how could their kids learn to roll with the punches?

So go ahead and get your dumbass insurance on your iPad and Switch. It’ll be a reminder to those of us who’ve also broken the battery covers of their Game Boy and replaced it with a piece of cardboard, that you’re an infantilized coward.