Blog Archives - Page 169

Oh, You’re a King Crimson Fan? Please Provide Exactly Zero Extra Information

Sam Eardley • February 6, 2022

Oh, you're a King Crimson fan? Tell you what, 10 bucks says you can't name exactly zero KC songs in…

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When Our Friend’s Cat Went Missing We Asked Twitter To Do Their Thing and Now We’re Being Canceled

Sean Fallon • February 5, 2022

In the grand tradition of using social media to help solve real world problems, when we heard our friend's cat…

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Be Nice to Me — I Gave Blood Today! Despite the Barista Saying “Stop, We Don’t Take Blood”

John Danek • February 4, 2022

Hey. Hi! Yep, you’re reading the sticker over my left nipple correctly. It says “BLOOD DONOR HERO”. I made it…

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Amazing: A Wing Mural Selected This Instagram Influencer as the Most Pure of Heart Before Fusing With Her Body and Ascending Her to Heaven

Peter Clark-Deutsch • February 4, 2022

Everyone says that Instagram is only a cesspool of shallow individuals looking for cheap validation or a way to profit…

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The Most Accomplished Bassist in History Is a Woman but You Don’t Know Her Name Because She’s a Bassist

Eric Navarro • February 3, 2022

Throughout history, certain groups are overlooked. Regardless of an individual’s accomplishments, no matter how massive or prevalent throughout culture and…

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We Tried Playing D&D and This Game Is Nowhere Near as Satanic as 80s Republicans Promised Us

James Knapp • February 3, 2022

The 1980’s — the decade that gave us parachute pants, Reaganonomics and, of course, rampant Satanic ritual magic disguised as…

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Now That Britney’s Free, What Should My Next Thing Be?

Brooks Gray • February 2, 2022

On November 12, 2021, Britney Spears became free. For leaders of the #FreeBritney movement like me, 11/12 was our 9/11,…

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Into the Wild 2? This Woman Just Turned off Her Phone

Ciara Murphy • February 1, 2022

Are we looking at the next "Into the Wild?" San Diego woman, Courtney Woodridge, has felt a strong connection to…

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So You’ve Quit Drinking? Here’s How To Start Again

James Knapp • February 1, 2022

It’s been over a year and you've been crushing your sobriety. Over twelve straight months without a drop of alcohol…

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5 Flirty Ways To Let Your Captor Know You Have Stockholm Syndrome

Nathan Kamal • January 31, 2022

Look at them over there, lookin' all cute holding a gun to a bank teller's head. You can't stop thinking…

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