WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. — Local guitarist and noted pushover Jackson Ermine revealed his customary pre-show ritual consisted of letting everyone…
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LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Local weirdo Arnold Hauser posted on the popular community app, Nextdoor, that everyone in his neighborhood is…
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SAN MATEO, Calif. — Multimedia tech CEO, Peter Avakian, held a mandatory all-hands meeting to ensure every employee was present…
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TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Florida Governor and Republican Presidential Candidate, Ron DeSantis, promised that, if elected, he would change the fifty…
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RICHMOND, Va. — Avid punk and reluctant father, John Husk Sr., looked stunningly glowing during his son’s first-ever court appearance…
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MILWAUKEE — A child bass player with terminal cancer was denied her dying wish to play lead guitar by the…
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NASHVILLE — Local bartender Otis Fuller is now just as covered in stickers as the grimey surfaces of the disgusting…
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LOS ANGELES — Self-proclaimed singer-songwriter Otto LaMont stated he was done pursuing his secondary dreams of being a musician and…
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Traditions can eat a dick. They're always accompanied by violent cultural baggage or a devastating family memory involving my Aunt.…
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BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Local Pantera fan Blane Butts referred to another customer at Ingles Supermarket as an “intellectual” yesterday in…
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