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Punk Father Absolutely Glowing During Son’s First Court Appearance

RICHMOND, Va. — Avid punk and reluctant father, John Husk Sr., looked stunningly glowing during his son’s first-ever court appearance yesterday for assaulting three officers, blushing sources confirmed.

“I couldn’t be more proud,” said Husk Sr. while holding back tears of joy. “He popped not one, but three cops right in the face. And then he had the gumption to tell all the officers to ‘eat his ass, I know how much pigs like to eat shit.’ I was blown away. It’s like his ability to not give a fuck about authority is stronger than mine, and, as a father, that’s more than you could ever hope for. I feel like I can die happy now, like I did a good job. He took on three pigs and made ‘em all squeal. Pull me down I’m floating away.”

The defendant, Husk Jr., noted how distracting his dad’s outbursts were during the proceedings.

“It was kind of embarrassing. He kept hootin’ and hollerin’ and yelling ‘That’s my boy’ like an asshole, cheering every time they brought a new eye witness on the stand to testify about the absolute beating I gave those cops,” sighed Husk Jr from a holding cell. “I was gonna tell him to shut up, but when I turned around, he looked happy in a way I’ve never seen before, and I, uh, stopped myself. I figure there will be plenty of court appearances for me in the future, this one can be for him.”

Several attendees compared Husk Sr.’s distinctive glow to that of a pregnant model winning the lottery under an autumn sun.

“We were graced that day by otherworldly beauty, being in his presence felt like witnessing a historical religious event,” professed Judge Mike Shoehorn. “The courtroom was out of control, and I knew it. But as I went to call it Kangaroo court, I was stopped by the gold stone face of Mr. Husk, silently pleading ‘no.’ How could I continue? The joy he was emanating was contagious. I was injected by a virus called love.”

At press time, Judge Shoehorn admitted to adding a few months to Husk Jr.’s sentence just to see Husk Sr. smile one more time.