Patrick Coyne, Author at HARDTIMES

December 4, 2019

MUNCIE, Ind. — Touring band The Those is stranded between shows in the middle of nowhere today after discovering that…

December 1, 2019

MANHATTAN, Kan. — Bleary-eyed local woman Sharon Esses reported this morning that the only consistent part of her bedtime routine…

November 22, 2019

HILTON, N.Y. — Boyfriend and birthday boy Brad Krister insisted today he really doesn’t want anything from you this year…

November 21, 2019

PORTSMOUTH, N.H. — An alarming new report released today found that your DVD collection is in disarray, thanks to months…

November 20, 2019

SAN DIEGO — Self-proclaimed “beard guy” Reggie Eustace transitioned back into “no personality guy” yesterday after shaving off his beard,…

November 18, 2019

CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa — Amateur musician Ryan Mason spent countless hours through the last couple weeks crafting a flyer for…

November 16, 2019

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Recently deceased man Jerry Davidson confessed on his deathbed last week that Juggalos, the clown-faced fans of…

November 14, 2019

DENVER — Panicked local guitarist Leonard Walsh wiped blood from his face moments ago while insisting his band drop everything,…

November 10, 2019

NEW ORLEANS — Local guitarist Ryan Alarid is struggling to pick between two nearly identical, virtually indistinguishable photos of himself…

November 9, 2019

MOORESTOWN, N.J. — Local mom Jerri Donalda is running out of polite euphemisms for describing her “free-spirited” daughter Anne in…