DOVER, N.H. — A recently worn necktie was informed yesterday that it will remain knotted and in its owners closet until it is once again…
Sonic Temple Art + Music Festival — Audience members in SiriusXM Comedy’s Spoken Word Tent were intrigued by what they assumed was a new Black Flag…
TORRANCE, Calif. — Longtime punk and father Al Diaz thoroughly interrogated his teenage daughter’s new boyfriend last night about which five Black Flag songs are…
SAN DIEGO — Local alcoholic Jerry Tatum announced plans to somehow ruin his niece’s wedding later tonight with his drunk and disorderly antics, despite the…
BRIDGEWATER, Mass. — Your coolest cousin and basically “big brother” from ages 4-13, Donnie McGee, was finally released from prison earlier today, not-so-excited sources confirmed.…
BARRE, Vt. — The small, tight-knit Barre hardcore community announced last week the arrival of the first openly gay member of their underground music scene,…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Members of the Tempe punk music scene attempted an ill-advised DIY blood drive last night, accidentally killing four beloved scene veterans, shocked…
I don’t always think things through. When I made the decision to attend this show at a tiny, overcrowded venue with no ventilation I thought…
SANTA FE, N.M. — Local mother-of-three Melissa Trayne suggested “one photo without the girlfriends” today, implying they may not want some of the women in…
MENLO PARK, Calif. — Facebook executives held a press conference today to announce that they have banned a far-right, anti-George Soros conspiracy theory page they’d…
Fuck, every input on Dan’s PA is broken? Check the third one. The third one always works. No, you have to use a little bit…
America has never been more divided. Polarization and insane rhetoric have infected our culture. That’s the problem. It’s a problem when people just root for…
PACIFICA, Calif. — Local boyfriend Sam Logan is “not even close” to providing the frequency, duration, and intensity of Instagrammable moments required to keep his…
SAN FRANCISCO — Greg Franken, local embarrassed and disappointed father, dropped off his son at some sort of nerd convention for a band named “Real…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local Get Up Kids fan Will Landis referred last week to the band’s 1999 release Something to Write Home About as their…