There I was, just waiting for a friend outside Dom’s Pub when a bunch of random people started shoving their IDs into my face. I…
PALMDALE, CA — Customers and baristas of The Catalyst Coffee Shop were shaken to their core Sunday afternoon when sick fuck Andrew Murphy ordered an…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Newly vaccinated woman Denise Adame took advantage of her inoculated status late yesterday afternoon to step outside and take in the fresh,…
SCHAUMBURG, Ill. — The local manufacturing scene is buzzing after an exclusive new factory opened in a redeveloped nightclub on the edges of the city’s…
HEAVEN — Local divine and benevolent deity, God, updated His LinkedIn profile yesterday, changing His title to Content Creation Ninja in the first step to…
CHICAGO — Local barista Jeffrey Stern had a creative breakthrough after thinking of the perfect name for a band that will never exist outside of…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — A new study by Harvard University confirmed the best way to secure work is to remind the person interviewing you that your…
WASHINGTON — President Biden signed a sweeping new bill into law earlier today which will finally address the issue of student loan debt relief by…
ASHEVILLE, S.C. — A frontline food service worker was stripped of her hero and esteemed “essential” status after forgetting to bring a side of mayonnaise…
AUBERRY, Calif. — A local woodpecker, ignoring the desperate pleas of parents, continued to go completely apeshit on a tree that was planted in memory…
ROCKFORD, Ill. — Retail clerk Emma Stephenson finally began to feel a sense of normalcy as an unreasonably irate customer screamed directly in her face…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Local man Trevor Good blamed his morning coffee habit for the constant nervous chatter in his head and anxious feeling in…
MARLINTON, W.V. — Local truck owner John “John-Boy” Johnson recently employed his heavy duty 2020 GMC Sierra to move a friend’s old posters and a…
TORONTO — A recent trip to an out-of-town Subway made you realize how much better managed it is than the Subway you normally eat at…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Local punk and Carhartt jacket-wearing dilettante Anthony Lynch avoided eye contact with fellow diners at a restaurant last night after a waiter…