It’s almost 2 a.m., you’re at the end of your shift, and you want to send a gentle message to the remaining bar patrons: go…
NEW YORK — A new choose-your-own-adventure horror book intended specifically for individuals in their mid-thirties entitled “Halfway To the Grave” always results in the reader’s…
WASHINGTON – Local punk Rene Johnson was absolutely gobsmacked and quite offended after he got a Slack notification from his boss this afternoon, sources currently…
HARRISBURG, Penn. – Local toddler and diehard “Bluey” fan Collette Winston-Bradford expressed immense displeasure with the newer songs by the beloved animated dog, sources picking…
It’s no secret the world is becoming more and more difficult for the working man such as myself to make ends meet. Be it Self-checkouts…
Like many Americans, I am awake at three in the goddamn morning in a seemingly endless anxiety loop. As I stare at my alarm clock…
So, I work at this awesome place. Free insurance that’s not accepted at any reputable health care provider, an excellent salary if I lived in…
KANSAS CITY, Mo.— Local man Zane Starzyk is beside himself with stress and frustration after taking a mental health day that completely fucked up the…
SAN DIEGO — Local procrastinator Rupa Patel claims she’s never more productive around the house than when she’s on tight deadlines at the office with…
Physicists say energy doesn’t die, it just changes form, but Ada Williams, an administrative assistant at Abbott Healthcare, proves that when energy doesn’t die, it…
PHILADELPHIA – Local Burnout John Parker admitted he wasn’t surprised to receive an exclusive text from his dad today offering a job that he should…
OKLAHOMA CITY — Employees at a local accounting firm are reportedly confounded by a recent hire who is simultaneously the worst co-worker they’ve ever had…
DURANGO, Colo. – Employees at a local insurance office were granted permission to arrive to work baked out of their goddamn gourds and reeking of…
WHEELING, W. Va. — Unemployed hardcore punk singer Lyle “Coccyx” Plant is seeking employment with a resume consisting solely of fistfights and crew battles in…
GALLATIN, Tenn. — Aging Punk and Volunteer Insurance Co. shift supervisor, Braden Niles, entered his fourteenth year of trying to get the entire office to…