WHEELING, W. Va. — Unemployed hardcore punk singer Lyle “Coccyx” Plant is seeking employment with a resume consisting solely of fistfights and crew battles in…
GALLATIN, Tenn. — Aging Punk and Volunteer Insurance Co. shift supervisor, Braden Niles, entered his fourteenth year of trying to get the entire office to…
Are you feeling tired? Is your body failing you in strange ways? If you’re looking for the secret to youth and vitality, you’ve come to…
If you’ve got a job that you go to at least five days a week and have a different pair of pants for each day,…
HARTFORD, Conn. — Beleaguered local drummer Sadie Plemmons assigned all future ride cymbal playing to a recently-hired sous-drummer in order to help with her percussion…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Maryanne del Fuego was admitted to the hospital for what turned out to be a panic attack caused by a densely…
BELMAR, N.J. — The partial remains of self-proclaimed Weezer fanatic, Lance Figaro, were found washed up on the beach after it was suspected he was…
SOUTH BEND, Ind. – Rumors of sexual tension between Martin’s Super Market employees Jordan Williams and Jackie Martinez were determined to be completely one-sided, nosy…
SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Local punk and administrative assistant Ross Taylor celebrated fifteen years at a job that he claims he only really keeps because of…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk and office employee Devon Smith successfully hid his tattoos at work by carrying around a huge Boston fern everywhere he goes…
TOLEDO, Ohio. – Local goth office worker Todd Schmidt admitted privately that he is secretly craving a slice of the delicious Funfetti birthday cake that’s…
SENECA FALLS, N.Y. — Local grocery store shift manager, Jane Nerrow, is suspicious as to why several of her employees claimed the odd smell they…
A great 20th-century philosopher/astronomer once said, “work sucks, I know.” Long hours, stagnant wages, and poor management have left a majority of America’s working-class feeling…
SANTA BARBARA, Calif. — Technically stunning guitarist Peter Lakely tested a $6k Gibson Les Paul for hours at Guitar Gallery before ultimately only buying one…
ENON, Ohio — Musician and fry cook, Cody Landon, has grown weary of being called “Rock Star” at his place of employment after his coworkers…