Nathan Kamal
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CHICAGO — William Hopper, the bassist for local metal band Cannibal Buffet, was abruptly promoted after a particularly bad streptococcal…
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Shane Pauker
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AKRON, Ohio — Attendees at Hamster Death Method’s latest concert felt overwhelmingly “whoo,” per an impromptu survey conducted by the…
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Laurie Bolewitz
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RICHMOND, Va. — Metal band GWAR’s newest lead vocalist was announced via a giant white steam cloud of creamy ejaculate…
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Nathan Kamal
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COLTS NECK, N.J. — The grandchildren of legendary musical artist Bruce Springsteen are reportedly exhausted after being serenaded with a…
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Patrick Crooks
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ATLANTA — Authorities were called to the State Farm Arena this evening to respond to what eyewitnesses report as a…
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Tyler Roland
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FORT WORTH, Texas — Local metal frontman Frank Fortibus inadvertently let out the best scream of his entire career during…
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Ben Friedman
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FORT WORTH, Texas — The lead singer of local grindcore band Razor Masturbator found his creative output drop dramatically after…
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Chris Bratton
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SAN FRANCISCO — Legendary musician Tom Waits spent over a minute clearing his throat to reveal a beautiful singing voice…
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Chris Bowen
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TAMPA, Fla. — Attendees at a local death metal show Saturday night were leery of a suspicious man wearing a…
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Trevor Graham
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PHILADELPHIA — Hardcore band X Conviction Of Truth X had their first reunion show in over fifteen years ruined after…
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