Dianne Nora
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CINCINNATI — Your Mom is wondering if you'll be home for her annual 4th of July barbecue, or if you'll…
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Khadija Hassan
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SEATTLE — Neighborhood watch app Nextdoor crashed early this afternoon after users self-snitched on their own Fourth of July barbeque…
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James Knapp
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SANDUSKY, Ohio — Local punk Curtis “Copkiller” Richards reportedly ceased his habit of constant slander against the United States while…
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Nathan Kamal
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CHICAGO — Cadets of the Chicago Police Academy were reminded of the exhausting six weeks of training they endured in…
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Joe Rumrill
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HAVERHILL, Mass. — A punk-themed ice cream truck impressed potential patrons yesterday with a raw, energetic version of “Turkey in…
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Joe Rumrill
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TEMPE, Ariz. — Local idiot Eli Burkhardt made a fool of himself today by accidentally cutting off his jeans vertically,…
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Patrick Coyne
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NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. — A man wearing a faded, several-years-old novelty Labatt Blue hockey jersey at an all-ages show last…
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John Bukovac
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PHILADELPHIA — Several local punks noticed an increased movements of pins, buttons, and other accessories from jackets and coats to…
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Mark Roebuck
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FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — Local teenage lifeguard Jeremy Keenum openly wished yesterday that someone at the recreational pool he covers would…
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Dan Kozuh
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NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Obsessive festival attendee Argel Anaya molted the entire top layer of his skin today after spending the…
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