BUTLER, Penn. — A loose, and utterly disgusting, accidental bowel movement inside former President Trump’s underwear admitted it was already stinking up the surrounding area…
RICHMOND, Va. – The nation’s coworkers reportedly resolved to hold an extended conversation in the general area outside the employee bathroom at the exact time…
The one nice perk about having a soul-crushing office job is casual Friday. Especially when it’s cool enough that I can wear my leather jacket…
SEATTLE, Wash. — Newly sober punk Dustin Patterson swore off alcohol after he experienced his first-ever bowel movement with a single, clean wipe, confirmed sources…
LOS ANGELES — The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences handed out the awards for Best Film Editing and several other utterly meaningless categories…
RIVERSIDE, Calif. — Local woman Missy Frazier is sick of being the only one of her roommates with enough common decency to steal toilet paper…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Dominick Campbell exited a port-o-potty he described as a “crime scene level disaster” and gave a wild-eyed expression to the…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Touring band Dwight Zombie made a last-minute stop in Memphis early yesterday afternoon for the sole purpose of relieving their bowels before…
NORTH HALEDON, N.J. — Local man and filthy roommate Mickey Bedford was caught running the sink for a few short seconds on Tuesday evening in…
FRESNO, Calif. — Local golden retriever DeeDee is utterly ashamed at owner Ben “Stank Beav” Carlisle’s insistence on dragging his itchy, bare ass on their…
AUSTIN — Turnstile show attendee and guy in a GG Allin shirt Mark Creston was searched by security twice following a fecal matter-related incident at…
ASTORIA, Ore. — Beginner survivalist Ethan Foster quickly forgot which of the two bodily wastes was sterile, piss or shit, while traversing his first expedition,…
The Thin White Duke. Aladdin Sane. Ziggy Stardust. None of these nicknames describes Ted Nugent, a man primarily known for his chest-thumping patriotism, as well…
ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Local punk Adam Schultz is beginning to regret using one of his three wishes to bring infamous singer GG Allin back to…
Of the 178 reality shows MTV released between 2002-2005, none of them quite popularized using a blacklight to look for semen on bed sheets like…