WASHINGTON — The U.S. Department of the Interior recognized 34-year-old Rob Meszka of Louisville, Kentucky with the Citizen’s Award for Bravery after he took a…
I knew going into the office kitchenette was a mistake. I foolishly exchanged pleasantries with someone from accounting, I think his name is Harold but…
WEST CHESTER, Penn. — Local Trump supporter Stephen Hall confirmed that he is happy about Trump’s win, but is a “little disappointed” that he won’t…
BUTLER, Penn. — A loose, and utterly disgusting, accidental bowel movement inside former President Trump’s underwear admitted it was already stinking up the surrounding area…
RICHMOND, Va. – The nation’s coworkers reportedly resolved to hold an extended conversation in the general area outside the employee bathroom at the exact time…
The one nice perk about having a soul-crushing office job is casual Friday. Especially when it’s cool enough that I can wear my leather jacket…
SEATTLE, Wash. — Newly sober punk Dustin Patterson swore off alcohol after he experienced his first-ever bowel movement with a single, clean wipe, confirmed sources…
LOS ANGELES — The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences handed out the awards for Best Film Editing and several other utterly meaningless categories…
RIVERSIDE, Calif. — Local woman Missy Frazier is sick of being the only one of her roommates with enough common decency to steal toilet paper…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Dominick Campbell exited a port-o-potty he described as a “crime scene level disaster” and gave a wild-eyed expression to the…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Touring band Dwight Zombie made a last-minute stop in Memphis early yesterday afternoon for the sole purpose of relieving their bowels before…
NORTH HALEDON, N.J. — Local man and filthy roommate Mickey Bedford was caught running the sink for a few short seconds on Tuesday evening in…
FRESNO, Calif. — Local golden retriever DeeDee is utterly ashamed at owner Ben “Stank Beav” Carlisle’s insistence on dragging his itchy, bare ass on their…
AUSTIN — Turnstile show attendee and guy in a GG Allin shirt Mark Creston was searched by security twice following a fecal matter-related incident at…
ASTORIA, Ore. — Beginner survivalist Ethan Foster quickly forgot which of the two bodily wastes was sterile, piss or shit, while traversing his first expedition,…