TUCSON, Ariz. — Local woman and your mom audibly wondered what ever happened to that nice boy you used to fuck, the question coming seemingly…
EDMONTON — Nearly eight years after the release of Mass Effect 3, Canadian game developers at BioWare were baffled that not a single person had…
CONCORD, N.H. — The undeniable sexual chemistry emanating off of local folk duo The Barncat Brigade was communicated through stomps on an empty suitcase in…
LOS ANGELES — Local girlfriend Ashley Wagner mistakenly believes Bryce Latterby, her boyfriend of six months, is actively engaged in a sultry conversation with Instagram…
Listen up, we all know the rules of being straight edge. No tobacco, no drugs, and no alcohol… through your mouth. But I’ve recently come…
These liberals get upset over every little thing, even sucking dick. Everyone knows that sex shouldn’t be a safe space. I am a proud, red…
What in the hell happened to this country? “And twins” was about more than just selling beer, it was about the spirit of America. Not…
ATLANTA — A mannequin positioned in the storefront of a newly established clothing store in East Atlanta Village is “kinda hot… is that weird?” according…
ATLANTA — Local woman Anna Valentina shared Monday that the most redeeming aspect of being polyamorous is having the freedom to stay open to a…
WATERLOO, Iowa — Christian rock superfan Keri Wilson has resolved not to go backstage after any concerts until she is a married woman, despite frequent…
DALLAS — Singer-songwriter and registered sex offender Wilfred Barton announcded his first tour dates at a press conference held yesterday afternoon since pleading guilty to…
CHICAGO — Competitive Super Smash Bros. player Greg Bradley holds true to his principles beyond the game, refusing to use items in the bedroom, sources…
SEATTLE — Politically correct punk Michael Favata was delighted to learn yesterday that his band’s bassist is currently dating a girl Favata previously hooked up…
LOS ANGELES – Molly Connolly, the subject of mid-00s emo band Say Anything’s fan favorite song “Every Man Has a Molly,” revealed in a press…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Newly related step-siblings Kara Sullivan and Aiden Zendowski have very little to no sexual chemistry, confused and frustrated sources living in the…