VATICAN CITY — Bible Scholars have determined that Jesus Christ’s hand injuries, previously thought to have been caused by crucifixion, were actually the result of…
HEAVEN — Succumbing to public outcry after the shocking discovery of an Old Testament written by Himself, God, the Father Almighty creator of Heaven and…
Hey God. It’s me. Again. I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked but I need your help. Lately, a lot of people have…
Buyers remorse is a drag, especially when it comes to your religion. One day you’re just minding your own business, enjoying a healthy bowl of…
Brothers, As The Sect’s first ever reporter, and its only member with permission to leave our community, I serve as the conduit through which all…
AMERICA — Americans across the nation are struggling to remember their previous holiday traditions as they prep for their first Christmas season after eight years…
OMAHA, Neb. — Fundamentalist punk Jacob Krayer believes the Greater Omaha hardcore scene is only six years old despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, sources…
IRS Officially Recognizes EA as Religion After Accepting Millions of Dollars From Customers on Faith
IRS Officially Recognizes EA as Religion After Accepting Millions of Dollars From Customers on Faith
WASHINGTON — The IRS announced today, that based on a litany, video game company Electronic Arts will now be officially recognized as a religion. The…
MENDOCINO, Calif. — Devout disciples of Jerry Garcia have begun a gradual, reluctant transition from worshipping the original Grateful Dead band leader to following his…
OGDEN, Utah — Legendary Idaho punk band the Darned will reunite one final time to play this summer’s Celestial Kingdom Fest, organizers of the world’s…
SAN FRANCISCO — Born-again metalhead Pete Ericson will only listen to Testament albums released before 1992, claiming those records are “the sacred works of metal…
LOS ANGELES — Bartender Parker McClaine of the trendy Tales of the Garden cocktail lounge is blatantly and equally inattentive to customers of all races,…
I grew up in a pretty religious household. Some of my earliest memories are of my grandfather insisting I get baptized. He’d always stay stuff…
Most people think that crust punks are dangerous creatures. Their abrasive looks often come across as threatening to people. Truth is they are rather passive…