KINGSTON, Jamaica — Reggae singer and exonerated philanderer Shaggy released a tell-all book recently titled “If It Was Me, Here’s How It Happened,” in response…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Touring band Dwight Zombie made a last-minute stop in Memphis early yesterday afternoon for the sole purpose of relieving their bowels before…
KINGSTON FALLS, N.Y. — An ominous record store employee reportedly warned customers yesterday that the new Mogwai album should not be exposed to direct sunlight,…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Punk band Precedent Smashers celebrated the release of their new album “Bash the Cheeto” yesterday, which they believe will be the final…
CLEVELAND — Recently formed metal band Blood & Soil has forgone music as its first public release, instead issuing formal remarks apologizing for every band…
ATLANTA — Musician, comedian, and actor Donald Glover released a vaccine he created for COVID-19 on his website donaldpresentsthecure.com at 4 a.m. this morning and…
SAN FRANCISCO — ConAgra Foods announced today a plan to reissue the legendary 1997 Hickey/Voodoo Glow Skulls split 7” as a product tie-in for their…
CHICAGO — Noted rhythm-and-blues singer Robert Sylvester “R.” Kelly announced the impending release of an all-new hostage today, undercover police sources confirmed from inside Kelly’s…
SAN DIEGO — Local hardcore kid and Terror fan Aidan Bennett purchased a new dental insurance plan yesterday in anticipation of the band’s upcoming release…
World’s Scariest Police Chases Trying to Make Every Conversation About Them as Difficult as Possible
World’s Scariest Police Chases Trying to Make Every Conversation About Them as Difficult as Possible
PITTSBURGH, Pa. — Pittsburgh punk brats World’s Scariest Police Chases are on a quest to ensure that all discussion about them ends in a confused…
LOS ANGELES — Fans of iconic mid-’90s rock band Weezer received a nostalgic thrill yesterday with the release of the “Ultimate Weezer Box Set,” containing…
EVANSTON, Ill. — Punk mother Danica Friedman announced she would be distributing a compilation of previously unreleased, rarely tasted Thanksgiving sides this year, family sources…
SAN FRANCISCO — Defying all logic and laws of time, an even newer album by garage stalwarts Thee Oh Sees was released weeks ahead of…
LOS ANGELES — Brian Eno released his latest album earlier this week, which Eno believes is the perfect soundscape for any man named Kevin waiting…
MONTREAL — Canadian post-rock collective Godspeed You! Black Emperor treated fans today to a special edition of their newest song title, releasing a 280-page hardcover…