BALTIMORE — Members of local punk band Slip and Fall realized they’d neglected to tell their bassist they’d voted him out of the group weeks…
MANHATTAN BEACH, Calif. — Punk legends and cartoon mascot enthusiasts Descendents released a new album titled “9th & Walnut” featuring 12 never-before-released songs, each of…
NEW YORK — Lifelong city resident Danny Rossi started a campaign early this week denouncing the legitimacy of a city rat that would prefer Chicago…
DALLAS, Penn. — A recent board game night hosted by small town resident Curly P. Johnson evolved with alarming ease and fluidity into a full-on…
PALMDALE, CA — Customers and baristas of The Catalyst Coffee Shop were shaken to their core Sunday afternoon when sick fuck Andrew Murphy ordered an…
LANCASTER, Pa. — Longtime “Jackass” fan and father of three, Kyle McGarvin, believes he is finally mature enough to recreate some of the show’s most…
PORTLAND — Ardent leftist and Socialist Rifle Association member Jamie Stoltz was hospitalized after severely damaging her tongue by biting it for an entire day…
CASPER, Wyo. — Jimmy Santiago, lead guitarist of local extreme metal act Necrosticide, called in his older brother George for assistance nailing a spectacularly difficult…
So, you’re on a date with a band dude you met at a show. Nice! Well, almost. See, you’re trying to have a romantic night…
WESTBURY, N.Y. — Multiple despondent mourners confirmed that local punk “Fast” Eddie Gwan recently saved thousands if not more in expensive preventative care by simply…
DALLAS — Local woman Claudia Rodriguez was stunned this afternoon upon receiving an email approving maintenance for an apartment she has not lived in since…
Trash Moth is back, and my inner 17-year-old is ecstatic that the band I worshiped in high school is finally reuniting after all these years.…
PEORIA, Ill. — Local 36-year-old Victoria Wilkins once again refused to admit to her parents that she completely regrets the Fall Out Boy tattoo she…
DENVER — Kinky suburban couple James and Emily DeSantis took to their Nextdoor App late Saturday night to ask if any of their soon-to-be neighbors…
MADISON, Wis. — An audience at a local coffee house performance art event this past weekend was disappointed when the headliner, Indigo Starr, was unable…