So, you’re on a date with a band dude you met at a show. Nice! Well, almost. See, you’re trying to have a romantic night…
WESTBURY, N.Y. — Multiple despondent mourners confirmed that local punk “Fast” Eddie Gwan recently saved thousands if not more in expensive preventative care by simply…
DALLAS — Local woman Claudia Rodriguez was stunned this afternoon upon receiving an email approving maintenance for an apartment she has not lived in since…
Trash Moth is back, and my inner 17-year-old is ecstatic that the band I worshiped in high school is finally reuniting after all these years.…
PEORIA, Ill. — Local 36-year-old Victoria Wilkins once again refused to admit to her parents that she completely regrets the Fall Out Boy tattoo she…
DENVER — Kinky suburban couple James and Emily DeSantis took to their Nextdoor App late Saturday night to ask if any of their soon-to-be neighbors…
MADISON, Wis. — An audience at a local coffee house performance art event this past weekend was disappointed when the headliner, Indigo Starr, was unable…
All my life I’ve dreamed of making it. This is my sole passion and singular focus. Sure, fame and money would be nice, but that’s…
GLEN HEAD, N.Y. — 30-year-old Melissa Crawford made her long awaited debut as the family drunken mess at her cousin’s Great Gatsby themed wedding this…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Newly vaccinated woman Denise Adame took advantage of her inoculated status late yesterday afternoon to step outside and take in the fresh,…
ASTORIA, Ore. — Beginner survivalist Ethan Foster quickly forgot which of the two bodily wastes was sterile, piss or shit, while traversing his first expedition,…
PATCHOGUE, N.Y. — Bass player Gwendolyn Armstead of local punk band Jazz Hand Jobs left her own set at the 89 North venue early in…
PHILADELPHIA — Shiko Dikaoni fell to pieces after glimpsing their reflection in the mirror in the middle of the night when getting up to pee…
MONTREAL — Canadian pop punk musician and overall good dude Jeremiah Dean released a public apology yesterday despite not being accused of any unacceptable behavior…
NEW YORK — Local depressive Naomi Roman was teetering on the brink of mental collapse Thursday morning until her suicidal thoughts were deterred after she…