Dan Rice
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When my Uber driver arrived at my home without the drink that I ordered to go with my meal, the…
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James Knapp
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SCRANTON, Penn. — Toby Louvern, lead vocalist in doom-pop band Expired Sex, was stricken with the deepest existential terror of…
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Dan Kozuh
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CHICAGO — Local nonagenarian Horace Miles finally settled on a design for what he would like his first tattoo to…
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Eli Johnson
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WASHINGTON — The American Psychiatric Association at its annual conference announced it added “poser” to the latest update of the…
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John Danek
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LAFAYETTE, La. — Exalted indie musicians Justin Vernon, popularly known as Bon Iver, and Sufjan Stevens reportedly had an unexpected,…
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Ted Pillow
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Congrats to the Southport High School graduating class of 2005! Remember how you all wrote “Never change!” in the yearbook…
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Nathan Kamal
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CHICAGO — Perpetually lonely heterosexual man Cliff Parker is living under the mistaken assumption that he would be getting a…
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Freelancer
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AUSTIN, Texas — Local horny-as-hell woman Wendy Charleton fears what might happen if she were to get drunk alone with…
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Dan Rice
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Yes, before you ask, these are bed bug bites all over my body, and no, I do not need the…
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John Merrifield
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IDAHO FALLS, Idaho — Local man and recent entrepreneur Shawn Roberts revealed a pillow he invented while stoned off his…
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