Jonah Nink
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CHICAGO — Local goth Raven Stevens spent her entire savings on new clothes yesterday after an attempt to eat a…
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MONTREAL — PornHub I.T. guy Dewey Palmer helped a fellow employee troubleshoot their malfunctioning computer this morning by suggesting they…
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E.M. Caris
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LOS ANGELES — Indie musician RGRT could not solve a single “Wheel of Fortune” puzzle during last week’s taping because…
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ORLANDO — Disney World announced Friday that they’ve been working closely with the creators and producers of “Westworld” to make…
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Tiana Miller
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OKLAHOMA CITY — Religious supporters of President Trump were confused and apprehensive yesterday when he invited an executive from popular…
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MISHAWAKA, Ind. — Local punk musician Dana Laurence gave the “birds and the bees” talk to his seven-year-old son last…
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SAN FRANCISCO — Local logophile Kyle Nazareth, the biggest fan of lyrically-advanced band Western Addiction, allegedly moshed with a large…
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Ashley Naftule
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SANTA FE, N.M.— Bantam Books editor Krista Lowell is reportedly very excited to receive at least one new page of…
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BROOKLYN — Quarantined punk Lex Sykes took to his own bathroom last week to practice his vandalism skills due to…
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Lauren Lavin
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SACRAMENTO, Calif. — A grocery store cashier and shopper wordlessly agreed moments ago to re-negotiate an overcharge on bulk beans…
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