Punk Tag Archives - Page 460

Ben Friedman • March 30, 2020

LOS ANGELES — Social media website MySpace announced today it will require their singular employee to work from home during…

Ella Gale • March 30, 2020

WASHINGTON — Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos stood triumphantly beneath a “Mission Accomplished” banner in an empty cafetorium yesterday after…

Patrick Coyne • March 30, 2020

ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local man and alleged “wannabe Patch Adams bitch” Dan Paulson is allegedly acting like “he cured…

Peter Casciato • March 29, 2020

UTICA, N.Y. — Trapped at home for over a week due to the coronavirus, out-of-work waiter Jim Stevens is quickly…

Louie Aronowitz • March 29, 2020

OMAHA, Neb. — Local punk and part-time crafts enthusiast Mark Penderson, seeing a need for DIY face masks to help…

Nick Ortolani • March 29, 2020

LOS ANGELES — Ethically non-monogamous couples around the world announced today that open relationships will be closed indefinitely to help…

Rob Walker • March 29, 2020

FLAVORTOWN — Celebrity chef and T.V. personality Guy Fieri was placed under unexpected quarantine due to the coronavirus after arriving…

Jeremy Kaplowitz • March 28, 2020

ATLANTA — Musician, comedian, and actor Donald Glover released a vaccine he created for COVID-19 on his website donaldpresentsthecure.com at…

James Knapp • March 28, 2020

BOSTON — Local woman Farrah Johanson assured anyone who would listen yet again today that she is masturbating just as…

Zach Russell • March 28, 2020

WASHINGTON — The U.S. Department of Commerce issued a concerning report this morning, finding that 78% of American corporations are…

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