DALLAS — Post Malone’s mother Jodie Post unveiled her brand new “Live, Laugh, Love” face tattoo yesterday at her weekly bridge game to a surprisingly warm, receptive crowd, delighted sources confirmed.
“This is a message I really relate to: it’s written on pillows and picture frames all over my house. It just made sense to finally get it tattooed onto my face,” said Post from her modestly decorated home. “I went through a few ideas — one was ‘69,’ for the year I was born, but I don’t want people thinking I’m Takeshi’s mom! That rat piece of garbage can stick it right where the sun don’t shine, for all I care.”
Body art has reportedly been a Post family tradition for generations. Frances Post, Jodie’s mother-in-law and Malone’s grandmother, is one of the most heavily inked in the family.
“We’ve been purveyors of regrettable tattoos since 1864. It started when Byron Herschel Post went AWOL from the Civil War, landed in Miami just in time for Spring Break, and got a .58 caliber musket tattooed down his cheek, with ‘Born Free’ tattooed across his knuckles. That tattoo united our family when the country could not,” said the Post matriarch. “Us Posts are expected to tattoo our faces starting around age 15. In fact, I have a couple grandchildren whom I no longer talk to who rebelled against this tradition. Enjoy working at a bank, you sellouts.”
Tattoo artist Jeff Ledgin of Legend Tattoo in Dallas claimed the Post family are his best clients, and his family has been intertwined with theirs for almost a century.
“My great-grandpa Earle started tattooing the Post family back when he was just six years old. After that, it was off to the races — the Posts would come in, one by one, with a bad stencil and ask us to permanently alter their faces,” said Ledgin while cleaning needles in a shot glass of whiskey. “I hope my children will tattoo the Posts for years to come.”
Jodie Post admitted privately that she hopes her “Live Laugh Love” face tattoo encourages her son to ink less self-deprecating messages on his own face moving forward.