Salim Alam
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November 8, 2020
PARADISE VALLEY, Ariz. -— Former Vice President Dan Quayle has reportedly contracted the novel Coronavirus “COVIDE-19,” according to Quayle’s medical…
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Kevin Tit
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November 8, 2020
2020 has got to be the worst year for punk by far. Ant that's saying a lot since it died…
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Henrik Persson
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November 8, 2020
ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local gym rat Paul Deetz started his workout today with a full seven minutes of rest…
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Jon Wood
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November 7, 2020
WILMINGTON, Del. — Democrat Joe Biden’s Presidential acceptance speech was interrupted today by rapper-turned-presidential candidate Kanye West, who rushed the…
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Ryan Danley
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November 7, 2020
SAN FRANCISCO — A Novel Experience Bookstore owner Dale Severen was deemed “totally not legit” yesterday for lacking a dynamic…
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Lauren Lavín
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November 7, 2020
MISSOULA, Mont. — Local man David Baker’s ever-growing rat tail has reached a length that “definitely soaks it in the…
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Taylor Roebuck
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November 7, 2020
PHILADELPHIA — Local band The Shit Kickers condemned their second place prize and disputed the accuracy of the applause-o-meter today…
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Dan Kozuh
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November 6, 2020
JASPER, Ark. — Local militia member Lance Hagan accidentally ate the three years' worth of emergency rations while anxiously watching…
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Jon Wood
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November 6, 2020
GOODE, Va. — Disgraced former Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr. agreed last week to watch his wife Becki attend…
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John Danek
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November 6, 2020
GENEVA — Scientists at the European Organization for Nuclear Research discovered yesterday that Iron Maiden’s 8:46-long “Brighter Than a Thousand…
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