Dom Turek
•
November 11, 2020
NEW YORK — Luxury sex toy manufacturer Bad Vibrations claims their latest dildo, which can’t maintain a full erection and…
Read More →
Dan Kozuh
•
November 11, 2020
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Dominique Martin was pleased to discover today that her total credit score was nine, believing this…
Read More →
Patrick Coyne
•
November 10, 2020
CLEVELAND — Local man Ryan Kaufman salvaged the majority of his unused best man speech yesterday after adding some minor…
Read More →
Danny Taverner
•
November 10, 2020
DALLAS — Residents of the local punk house The Lincoln Memorial learned yesterday that the white noise machine they thought…
Read More →
Lauren Lavín
•
November 9, 2020
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local sandwich artist Allison Kim’s spacious, work-issued polo shirt did little to block a well-known customer’s intense,…
Read More →
Louie Aronowitz
•
November 9, 2020
HILL VALLEY, Calif. — Marty McFly admitted today that he now mostly uses his time machine to go back in…
Read More →
Kevin Tit
•
November 9, 2020
HANOVER, Pa. — Local Nazi, Kyle Rumbley, is unsure how to tell his family he voted for Joe Biden after…
Read More →
Tim Nash
•
November 9, 2020
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local pop-punk group Dorm Room Philosophers reportedly fought over songwriting technique yesterday while recording their new album,…
Read More →
Johnny Mo
•
November 8, 2020
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Quarantined suitor Gabe Dawson canceled his highly anticipated Zoom date with “hot barista Dylan” last night…
Read More →
John Dixon
•
November 8, 2020
ATLANTA — Adam Hansen, the lead vocalist of death metal band Corpse Licker and best known for his flowing locks…
Read More →
