Patrick Coyne
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TOLEDO, Ohio — The Observer-Gazette, a so-called “legitimate” local newspaper that has “allegedly won multiple prestigious awards,” failed to even…
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Ryan Danley
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LOS ANGELES — World-renowned documentarian Ken Burns has already completed two episodes of a seven-part series addressing America’s ongoing Second…
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John Danek
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WASHINGTON — The United States of America utterly failed in its shame-filled attempts today to obscure its bulging, prominent Presidential…
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James Knapp
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SEWARD, Neb. — A far-right militia completely failed in their mission to remain vigilant on election day after the entire…
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ABINGTON, Mass. — A local man’s chances of talking to his parents in a civil manner once again is too…
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Dan Kozuh
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CHICAGO — A poll of citizens leaving a nondescript brick building today gave no new information on which to gauge…
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Stephen Bell
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WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. — First Lady Melania Trump was apprehended by Florida election officials this morning after being caught…
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Bobby Korec
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BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Lifelong Democrat Hunter Matthew Sullivanor asked a ballot station attendee today if they had any larger “I…
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Bobby Korec
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CONSHOHOCKEN, Pa. — Local black metal band Nocturnal Defacement announced their public support yesterday for the “greater of two evils”…
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Stephen Bell
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UNITED STATES OF AMERICA — The coronavirus, the cause of a worldwide pandemic that has killed over one million people…
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