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Jerry Falwell Jr. Agrees to Watch Wife Attend Couples Counseling

GOODE, Va. — Disgraced former Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr. agreed last week to watch his wife Becki attend couples counseling following weeks of embarrassing revelations of infidelity and marital troubles, uncomfortably close sources who didn’t consent to this confirmed.

“Despite everything you hear from those godless cucks in the liberal media, our marriage is stronger than ever,” said Mr. Falwell while positioned in a chair slightly behind his wife. “I know they say people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones — or that he who is without sin can throw the first one, I always get those mixed up — but I will say, if you enjoy watching your wife make love to the pool boy from every angle, glass house is definitely the way to go.”

Becki is optimistic that therapy will help their relationship.

“Sure, Jerry and I don’t have the same spontaneous, passionate conversations that used to wake the neighbors, but I pray that with counseling, we’ll be able to rekindle that spark,” explained Mrs. Falwell. “I can’t wait to lay back on that couch while my 28 year-old Latin therapist talks my brains out, as my husband watches from the back of the room, parlaying with himself.”

Surprisingly, the Falwells’ therapist Dr. Ramon Torres readily offered his professional opinion.

“I’m probably breaking all sorts of doctor-patient confidentiality, but yeah, the Falwells are freaks. Like first season of ‘True Detective’ messed up… and some shit from season two, now that I think about it,” said Torres. “This process would go a lot smoother if they just leaned into the whole voyeur kink, instead of speaking in tongues and self-flagellating every time I suggest something square like making a romantic playlist together.”

Mr. Falwell has allegedly recommitted himself to the teachings of scripture, reportedly signing up for a free trial of Audible so that he can listen to his favorite Bible verses read aloud.