John Danek
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March 2, 2021
COVINGTON, Ky. — Neophyte bassist Braxton Reynolds came to the startling realization last week that his metronome apparently jumps wildly…
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MILWAUKEE — Local 24-year-old adult person Travis Parkes will be prosecuted in juvenile court next week after a judge’s ruling…
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Patrick Coyne
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March 1, 2021
TACOMA, Wash. — Terminal cancer patient Brenda Goff is planning to lay as still as possible after spotting U2’s annoyingly…
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Nathan Kamal
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February 28, 2021
LOS ANGELES — Filmmaker and occasional musician Rob Zombie has completed an exhaustive search of over 1,000 actresses to star…
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Taylor Roebuck
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February 28, 2021
PITTSBURGH — Local Instagram user Charlie Guerrero found a distressed message at the bottom of her feed yesterday, stating that…
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Bobby Korec
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February 28, 2021
WESTON, Conn. — Local physicians used dental records yesterday to identify the body of legendary Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards…
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Bobby Korec
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February 27, 2021
LOS ANGELES — Out-of-work actor and outspoken conservative Kevin Sorbo sent his professional headshot to political commentator and apparent filmmaker…
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Krissy Howard
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February 27, 2021
LAS CRUCES, N.M. — Local woman Bette DeVargas made use of her time home during the Coronavirus pandemic by turning…
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Dan Vanderpool
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February 27, 2021
OAKLAND, Calif. — The local Oakland hardcore scene announced today that it will collectively convert to being a heavily tattooed…
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Cory Cousins
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February 26, 2021
PAWTUCKET, R.I. — Conservative pundits outraged by Hasbro’s announcement that Mr. Potato Head would become gender-neutral immediately created petitions to…
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